


Chaos is a friend of mine

by bottomlouiswriter



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha Harry, Alpha Liam, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, M/M, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mating Rituals, Omega Louis, Omega Niall
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-26 03:15:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 31,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4988002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bottomlouiswriter/pseuds/bottomlouiswriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is Liam's, though really he's always been Harry's.</p><p>Or</p><p>Alternatively Louis is the not so traditional omega courted to very traditional alpha Liam, and Harry's the alpha that's always been meant for Louis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. when the going gets tough, the tough get going

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Smuttty1d](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smuttty1d/gifts).



> SO this is like the third time I've posted it, sorry ahah, but from the prompt I was given, I spiralled as per usual and made the story line more complex that I thought it would be. My original idea, was to invest a lot more into the whole lilo part of the writing, but my hands wandered as they usually do and I wound up with this. I'm insanely proud of what I've produced, especially considering I thought I was going to have to back out with my inability to finish things decently on time. So I really hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it! Thank you so much for the wonderful prompt!

_“I woke up one morning_

_to find my heart resting_

_on the pillow next to me_

_and everything that surrounded was red._

_I went to the doctor_

_presented him with my heart_

_and said,_

_“doctor, I think I’m dead.”_

_he replied,_

_“how long have you been in love?”_

 

                                                                       

                                                                                                                          **

 

Harry stopped pretending in the middle of December.

The light dusting of snow and overall joyous spirit that enveloped the month of December was when Harry had given up on being a subtly in the back round. Given up on pretending he liked Liam.

To be completely honest Harry had figured Liam was like any other alpha that Louis had brought around. It wasn’t a far off conclusion considering that in any midst of time of their friendship, Harry, and eventually his alpha, had both grown to become used to it. Alpha’s that slipped into Louis’ life before leaving just as quickly.

Any of the alphas that had stumbled into Louis life, were ones Harry had been flippant with because they were the ones gone in a week. They were the alphas that were a usual happening after Louis had presented at fifteen. And the alpha’s there whenever Louis felt the need to go through a phase. But those had all been weekly flukes, with no intention. Entirely about having fun in high school, and attempting to figure things out.

Harry had been equipped to deal with the alpha’s that frequented around with Louis. The ones that would weave in and out of Louis life like cars on the freeway. But he hadn’t been equipped to deal with Liam.

Louis’ courtship alpha.

That simply was something Harry couldn’t get used to. Something both Harry and his alpha didn’t want to get used to. A courtship alpha meant commitment and to everyone else- unavailability. And considering Harry’s always hoped to bond with Louis, hoped for nearly nine years, that’s a hard pill to swallow.

It’s especially hard having to sit and watch Louis cater to his new courtship alpha, particularly because Louis is never one to dote on ridiculous things, like alphas.

They’ve been courting ever since the summer heat started. Meeting over ice cream as the sun had blazed in the last few days of June. It’s been six months, edging on seven, that Louis’ been explicitly tied to Liam. But that’s merely a speck of time compared to the years Harry’s got on Liam. Harry feeling like his claim is much more timely and evident than Liam’s will ever be- as barbaric and traditional as that is.

Nine years of pining and being the only constant in Louis’ life had Harry feeling and acting, petulant and child like whenever he’s second choice. Which as of late- happens more often than not.

He’s especially irritable now, glaring at Liam’s face as he chides Louis, side practically squished against Louis’ in the large expanse of the booth they’ve been placed at.

It was supposed to just be the two of them. Going out to celebrate Louis birthday because it was almost guaranteed that Liam was going to sweep Louis away for his actual birthday.

For once in the large span of two weeks, it was just going to be the two of them, and Harry had been hopeful that it was going to work out. That like old days, they would get to order ridiculous amounts and make odd commentary while just simply enjoying each other’s company. But like any of their other plans- Liam had spoiled them.

Harry has to admit that he hasn’t exactly given Liam reason to trust in their little dates- because that’s exactly what he plays them off as. Little dates with a courtship omega that isn’t his. It’s enough to make any alpha uneasy, let alone said alpha, the other half of the courtship.

“Lou, you really shouldn’t do that.” Liam tutted with an entire mouthful of displeased alpha. Harry watches as Louis’ usual mischievous smirk falls to the one of an embarrassed and scolded omega. One he’s been wearing too recently every since courting with the traditional alpha.

The scolding is enough to have Harry holding back a growl, and from the look he gets from Louis- he knows it too. Louis silently tells Harry to back off, and Liam rubs his hand up and down Louis’ arm.

Louis forces on a smile once more and pats Liam’s arm that slides down to his waist. Liam’s other hand pulls Louis’ away from where it lingers near Harry’s dish, about to scoop up a few pieces of left over steak.

“It’s fine Lou, I don’t mind.” Harry lets it slip, the instinctual need to prove his worth to Louis, like it has been since he presented as alpha.

Harry had noticed Louis stealing the pieces a while ago, while Liam had been too attuned to his own stories. Not knowing Louis’ usual habits like Harry did. He hadn’t cared; it was a normal occurrence, really. Ordering larger meals and cutting them up more than he dared to actually eat, for the soul fact that Louis would steal it away a few minutes later. Liam still shakes his head though, and pulls Louis’ hand away completely, till both of in his lap, cover by one of his. It makes him look too docile and controlled and it’s enough to make Harry grit his teeth, jaw locking and grinding.

“Problem mate?” Liam asks, attempting at some sort of relative calm. There’s still a challenge in his voice enough to make Harry square his shoulders and clench his fists.

He shakes his head tersely and Liam gives his a tight nod. Turning back to Louis where his face melts into something less cold.

“It’s just rude love that’s all.” Liam assures, though there’s a very evident reprimand underneath the soothing tone. His attention is back on Louis and it’s like Harry’s invisible. Harry nearly snorts at Liam’s attempt at maturity though they both know Harry’s most likely going to get another borderline threat, to back the fuck off.

“If you were still hungry love, you could have just said.” As he says it, Liam slides over his bowl of salad. Louis looks at that salad plainly and tries to smile at Liam, though it comes out more of a grimace.

It’s blatant omega stereotype and this time Harry does snort at the ridiculousness of it all. It’s expected that an omega go for the more leafy options than the meaty ones. Though normally Louis would have told someone to stick it if they ever told him to eat a salad for public images, to make him look more like his status, that’s exactly what Louis had done tonight. Ordered the Caesar salad while Harry and Liam had order a whole meat and potato plate, ignoring Harry’s blatant glare as he tried to appease his courtship alpha.

But as much as Louis will try to appease Liam, there’s no mistaking that he was hungrier for more than pathetic leafy greens. If Liam wanted to be generous he would have offered Louis some of his steak.

When Harry looks up, Louis is glaring at him and Liam is doing much the same. Louis’ is far more intimidating because they’ve had this conversation before, Louis telling Harry to bugger off and mind his own business. He tries to settle his amusement more so for Louis sake than Liam’s, knowing if he doesn’t he’ll receive an earful from his friend.

“Again Harry, do you got a problem?” It’s condescending, and not the tone Harry is in the mood to deal with. By the way Louis is pinching the bridge of his nose, it’s not what he wants to deal with either.

“Yeah actually there is mate.” Harry responds, settling his hands against the table. He ignores the tension and carries on, smirking cause he’s just aiming to piss Liam off. “I didn’t have an issue with Louis eating off my plate, he was obviously still hungry, and offering him more salad isn’t going to do anything.”

It’s a stab at Liam’s inability to take care of an omega, and by the way Liam tenses his jaw, he gets it too. Harry smirks even more, a harsh glint in his eye, but its quickly put away when Liam fires back.

“Doesn’t matter if you have an issue or not. He’s not your omega now is he mate?”

It’s something they’ve talked about before. Harry’s obvious affection that Liam hadn’t been too happy with. It brought forth terse conversation and borderline threats slipping past both their mouths in passing. Each time it became more blatant, enough for Louis to catch on, but Harry didn’t care to attempt better conversation. He made his dislike very obvious each and every day.

When Louis gives Harry a death glare, Harry just simply grinds his teeth and stays silent. A million different comebacks on the tip of his tongue, several ranging from the petulant – _I had him first_.

He stands up without a second thought, throwing down enough bills to cover not only his own meal but Louis’ as well, because no matter how much the either of them insists, Louis isn’t completely Liam’s yet. He gets a growl from the other alpha and a sigh from Louis, before he grabs his jacket and storms out of the restaurant.

He’s only a couple steps from the building when he hears Louis call out.

“Are you fucking kidding me Harry?”

He stops and turns around, and doesn’t hesitate to show his anger. Harry shoves his hands in his pockets, while Louis closes the small distance between them. The second Louis is in close enough proximity he pushes Harry, looking beyond angry. “How many times have I told you? You can’t pull shit like that around Liam!”

Harry ignores Louis finger that prods against his chest in fury. “And how many times have I argued back that I don’t care. You know I don’t like him, so maybe don’t bring him around when it’s just supposed to be just the two of us.”

Louis’ finger stops against his chest, along with the entire palm of Louis hand. Harry relishes in the feeling for the smallest time, before that palm is leaving only to collide back again, this time aiming to hurt. “I know you don’t care, but for the love of god Harry you could get over yourself for once. Honestly, I’m- this is serious. You have to get used to Liam being around.”

Harry shakes his head, stubborn. He doesn’t want to get used to the idea of Liam being around, him nor his alpha. _Especially_ his alpha. “No.”

Louis shakes his head. “No?” He asks, raging. “Harry this is serious. We- I’m meeting his parents in a couple weeks and we’re going to start planning our ceremony. As my best friend I need you to be okay with this and to be the supportive friend I know you can be. Not this prick, who’s suddenly come from nowhere.”

 _It’s not from nowhere_. Harry wants to argue. It’s been like this since Harry presented at fifteen and figured that being alpha meant they would be together. It’s been like this since Louis started getting with ever alpha, except Harry. It’s been like this since Harry realized he was in love with Louis when he was seventeen. Harry’s always been the nice guy because he’s felt he’s had to, had to be the supportive alpha for Louis when all the other ones had fallen through in his life. But not anymore, he was tired of being the rug under Louis’ feet.

Louis looks a bit defeated as he says it but he still remains in a defensive stance. Ready to attack once again if it calls for it. Harry shakes his head and takes his hands out of his pockets. “I don’t have to get used to him, until he gets the honour of mating you, properly. And even then, I probably won’t be around so-“

“What the hell does that mean.”

Louis looks incredibly confused, standing there starting to shiver in just his jumper. The December cold nipping against skin even through the tough purple knit. Harry ignores the urge to shrug off his jacket and hand it over to Louis. He just resolutely looks at his shoes, looking up when he finally has it in him to speak.

“It means I’m probably leaving soon, so I won’t be around. Not for your ceremony or to get along with your mate.”

It’s not entirely a lie. Harry’s had the idea for a while. It had become more and more appealing the longer Liam and Louis’ courtship went on. He was planning to go after the ceremony if Louis wanted him there. Harry had also been planning to tell Louis in a better way then this, hoping to break it slowly, because he didn’t really know how long he was going to leave for. With the way it’s looking, he’s leaving for a while.

Louis lets out a small whimper, can’t help it, looking beyond hurt and Harry has to ignore his alpha demanding he hold Louis, pull him in close to his chest till the other boy is less upset. “Are you serious?” He sounds close to crying and Harry’s guilt only deepens.

“Lou-“ He tries to reason, but Louis ignores him with a sharp jerk of his head and holds up his hand.

“No, this is just great. My best mate isn’t going to be there for my mating ceremony, or to be there at all apparently, even though he’s promised for years. My best mate, who promised to never be the person to leave me, is going to. And to think I was going to ask you to be my escort.” Louis laughs though he’s close to tears.

 _I don’t want to escort you down the isle I want to be the one waiting for you at the end of it._ Harry wants to plead, but he stays quiet. Long enough that Louis shakes his head once again, throwing something on the ground and flipping Harry off, before stalking back inside.

Harry feels horrible, but it’s not entirely new, not when it comes to Louis. When he bends down to see what Louis threw to the ground, it’s the extra cash he put down for Louis’ meal, no doubt one of the reasons Louis had come out in the first place. He just takes a moment, before picking it up and tucking it back into his pocket, laden with snow and soppy, but his nonetheless, because it’s not his responsibility to pay for Louis anymore. After he pulls himself together, he walks himself back to the vehicle, wondering if he’s going to be able to keep his word, or if, once again, he’s going to cave for Louis.

 

                                                                                                           **

 

A week later Harry finally caves.

There’s been nothing but radio silence, ever since the night of the restaurant, and Harry ridiculed himself sick with the notion of not having talked to Louis. Harry had figured that Louis had gotten away freely like he usually did. But when Harry saw himself opening the door for Louis, not just finding him in Harry’s living room or cupboards after he let himself in with his key, Harry knew Louis was at odds.

Louis’ oddity and Harry’s awkward composure, makes the conversation stay at a stand still before Louis curses and shoves Harry to the side a small amount before he’s entering the same space. Louis stares at him for a long moment, before he’s leaning over and grabbing Harry’s jacket. He pushes it expectantly into Harry’s arms, the latter taking it without question, before he crosses his arms and waits.

Harry shrugs on his jacket, because he knows with Louis, that’s what he implied, but just stands there unsure of what else to do, alpha okay with waiting for the instruction considering who it’s coming from, though ready to spring into action if needed. Completely unsure of what is going to set off the other boy. Louis looks an astounding mix of confronted and confused, but it settles mere moments after Harry recognizes it.

“Coffee?” Harry has known Louis long enough that when he says that, he doesn’t intent it to be a question. He means that he wants to settle into their usual shop that has the rarity of Louis’ favourite tea and muffin, along with Harry’s favourite lemon bar, and iced drink.

Harry’s grabbing his keys, while Louis is already halfway to the elevator. Pressing the button in repetition of his nerves and lack of patience, as Harry’s key slides into the proper nooks to slide the lock into place. Harry just barely has time to sliver himself into the elevator before it’s closing and starting its descent down to the main floor.

Louis sidles closer with each floor they pass and by the time they’re on ground level, Louis is very nearly plastered to his side. A silent plea for Harry to do the rest, like he usually does. Harry concedes and wraps his arm around Louis shoulder, enough to ensure that Louis had enough room to smother himself in Harry’s chest.

It’s the closest Harry’s ever gotten to an apology and probably the only form it will ever come in. Harry’s not opposed, not when he gets the privilege of wrapping Louis entirely in his arms. Huddling the both of them close so they both understand the apologetic waves that are rolling off them.

Harry’s the one to actually verbally apologize, though the words stick like sand to his tongue. It’s not even close to foreign, but the heavy sinking in his chest is. He’s never been one to mull over what batters against his ribs whenever he’s the one to apologize. Even his alpha knows it’s routine by now, and usually has no issue pushing forth those words. But this time both parts of him does and it feels painstakingly familiar to the lack of sincerity and overall lacklustre attempts of caring about his disdain towards Liam. His alpha becoming less and less inclined to be making an effort, for an omega that isn’t his. Not entirely okay with the fact that he bares his softest parts to someone who isn’t his mate.

For the first time, Harry realizes, that a steaming pot of scorn has been bubbling in his chest and spattering his insides each and every time Louis’ fallen short. The anger that resonates from the overly alpha part of his body bubbling up and boiling out to where it is currently, overflowing from all the wood that’s been added to the fire. Alpha becoming close to vibrating out of his body with the lack of connection he feels to the omega he’s always had a direct line with. Loosing the omega he always thought was his.

He still mutters a sorry into Louis hair, for the soul fact that it’s routine and he’s able to sneak a deep inhale of Louis’ scent as he does so. It appeases his alpha, settling it for the time being, scent familiar and welcomed. The motion comes with an urge to scent Louis more, but he pulls on his restraint as he usually does, more to do with the fact that he has to and not because he wants to, and backs away when Louis nods against his chest, getting ready to pull away from Harry. Or what Harry’s assumed is Louis getting ready to extract himself from Harry’s reluctant hold.

Louis doesn’t leave, and Harry finds himself confused as he walks towards Louis’ car with Louis still attached reverently to his side. Harry feels a strong urge to smile, document this as good material to challenge Liam. But his mind reroutes before completely crashing as Louis hands him the keys.

Harry takes them doubtfully, escorting Louis over to his door, while the keys thread heavily through his fingers. They both settle in with ease, though a silence that unnerves Harry’s stomach fills the empty spaces within the vehicle. Louis must feel it to, hands tucking under his thighs for a single second before plopping back into his lap with uncertainty. He worries his lip with small bites and creases his forehead with a frown, obviously worrying about more than the stillness that surrounds the two of them.

“I really need you to stay.” Louis whispers, breaking the tranquillity while his hand encloses overtop Harry’s on the gearshift.

Harry stays silent, pertinent to keep his tongue from forming words as he tries to build his will power. His entire weakness has always been Louis’ aptitude to reach through to him even when his attitude is a solid brick wall. His initial reaction is to melt into his seat while his brain spoils any answer but yes, but for once, the possibility of declining is resilient in his head. Blinking in bright neon colours, like a bad bar sign.

“Lou.” Harry coughs into his fist, taking his hand away from under Louis’, limiting the temptation to give in and give Louis the exact answers he’s attempting to get. He’s trying desperately to form up an excuse in his head, but nothing is coming up reasonably. His immediate answers revolve around his dislike for Louis’ courtship alpha, and not wanting to be there when he officially looses him to Liam, but none of those are appropriate.

“Harry.” Louis pleads, turning in his seat the best he can to rest one hand on Harry’s bicep the other on his forearm, which has settled against the console. “You are literally the only other alpha in my life, the only other one that’s stuck around. My dad’s gone and so have any of our old mates, plus you’ve always been my best friend. You can’t leave.”

Harry resists the urge to grit his teeth. It’s more of a reaction of pain than it is of anger, but it still brings his alpha to the surface once again. Hurt that he’s only an option because all the others have dropped off and went away. His anger resonating with the fact that another alpha has stepped into a place where Harry was supposed to fit. His alpha practically fitted to care for and mate with Louis, has been ever since he presented.

He’s grown up and into his alpha through the eyes of someday, becoming Louis’ alpha. Subconsciously allowing his alpha to be moulded by the brash hits of personality that Louis had always given in waves. He had happy to hold the title of the alpha that had stayed around even in the hard times, waiting for the perfect time to step in and become the alpha that Louis needed. Getting through each alpha that stuck a little longer than usual, with the fantasy that he would eventually have the means and the proper timing to make a proper courtship pairing of the two of them. Have the proper amount to give Louis the proper mating ceremony he deserved.

But his alpha never found the right anything. Waiting around for the right amount of money for him to have the means to do it right and the correct amount of time away from secondary school, because Louis had been adamant on not being a mated couple straight after secondary, like so many other people. But then time passed and he never found the time, before Liam was stepping in and taking the spot Harry had been planning to ask for since he was fifteen.

To put it shortly, Harry’s not proud of the fact that he’s not the alpha that’s going to be there for the rest of Louis’ life. Infuriated at the fact, that he never put forth his own offer of courtship to Louis. And he’ll disappear if he has to, to ensure that he doesn’t have to sit through a catered service to be reminded of his alphas’ and his own foolish mistakes.

Still his simply answers with an “I don’t know Lou.” He means to make it sound final, but he’s never been one to put his foot down, unless it happens with a slip of his alpha voice, which he’s hesitant to use.

“What do you not know about?” Louis sounds astounded as he asks, looking at Harry in confusion. “You always told me you’d be there for when I get mated. We promised we’d be there for each other no matter what!” Louis’ starting to sound a tad angry but Harry has to focus on not letting his expression turn sour. Eyes focused on the road as he attempts to keep his face stoic of the jealousy or anger that’s sure to splash across his face.

He promised that back when he was seventeen and still had dreams that he’d be the one Louis was going to be mated to. Thought it was a smooth, and corny joke when he promised he’d be at Louis wedding considering he’d be the alpha getting ready to mate with his omega.

It’s not so funny when Louis’ mating ceremony only includes him as a guest or his escort down the isle. It’s not as smooth of a joke anymore when he comes to face reality.

“That was a long time ago Lou.” Harry says instead because he’s really trying to refrain from saying something he’ll regret. It’s tempting to just let it spill all out on the table, considering he’s got nothing left to risk, but he holds it back for the sake of his pride. At least for now he’s still got a bit of that left.

“Doesn’t matter if it was a long time ago.” Louis argues, voice becoming heated as he attempts to prove his point. “You’ve made me that promise, and I need you to keep it because you’re important and I can’t imagine you not being there.” Louis admits, amongst his frustration.

“I don’t know if I can do it Lou.”

“I just said-“

“I know what you just said Lou, but clearly you aren’t listening.” Harry can’t even attempt to hide the alpha timbre that steals itself into his voice. “If I go, if I fucking walk you down that isle, I’m loosing you to someone I don’t even like. I can’t do it and I won’t, so stop asking.”

He practically snarls as he says it, grip turned white on the curve of the steering wheel, while Louis takes a deep breath from the onslaught of alpha that has taken over the car. Harry feels guilty two minutes down the road when the heaving in his chest settles and he feels a small amount lighter.

“You’re not loosing me Hazza.” The last thing Harry expected was Louis to soothing about it. He had been preparing himself for a lashing to come from Louis mouth as soon as his alpha had been reigned in, but he gets a soft gentle tone, which isn’t a normality for Louis. “If that’s why you’re being so nasty about this, and if this is why you don’t like Liam, and want to leave instead of coming to my ceremony, you don’t have to worry. You’re my best mate Harry, I’m not letting you leave.”

Harry nearly scoffs, because the context in entirely wrong. Oceans away from what he truly meant. But he stays silent, intent on making it seem like he’s settled when it’s quite the opposite. He feels more emotions stir up in his chest, heart pumping them rapidly out into the rest of his body where pain and hurt cling most evidently to every crevice. The pain nearly pushes a sound out of his throat but he covers it with a cough, muttering out that they’re here.

Here is a nice little shop they’ve dubbed as their usual place. Harry finds parking with ease and finds himself exiting the vehicle and entering the warm confines of the café in mere moments, Louis trailing behind. Harry stands in line with a not so patient tap to his foot, while Louis waits beside him eyes directed down to his phone. It simply only takes two minutes before he’s being called up to the till.

When Harry sidles up, so does Louis, though a bit closer then before. Harry’s still in the middle of deciding what kind of loaf he’s going to order with his tea, when a flirty voice flits to his ears. As soon as he glances towards the boy manning the till, he’s met with an amorous smile and an exuberant omega that has want in his eyes. He plays along with a small curve to his lips, but falls short abruptly when he’s just finished Louis’ order and feels a body huddle against his back.

The poor cashier looks frightened and with a glance back, Harry can see why. Louis’ pressed securely against Harry, glare harsh and evidently directed towards the other omega. Immediately the cashier turns serious and downturns his eyes, dropping the teasing personality he had supported only moments ago.

Harry pays with a terse smile and set shoulders, Louis still halfway hiding behind them. He pays for the both of them, though instantly regrets it as he sees the cashier look even more ashamed. Its custom for alphas in care of another omega, like parents or siblings to pay for their omega, seeing as it’s of proper etiquette. But it’s also custom for alpha’s or mated pairs to pay for their mate, and considering the way Louis has plastered himself against Harry’s body, the cashier has assumed, embarrassed, that he’s just flirted with a taken alpha.

As soon as they get their orders, Harry stalks over to a table near the back. The chairs aren’t as comfortable as their booths, but Harry’s fuming and he doesn’t want to be in view of where the cash sits. When Louis follows him looking bored, Harry’s anger only heightens.

Harry doesn’t even allow Louis a moment before he sets his tea down, glaring at him. “I’m not your alpha, don’t act like I am Lou. Especially when I’m talking to someone like that.”

“What, someone who’s not worth your time?” Louis rolls his eyes. “He was being overly coquettish and not even close to the kind of omega you need.”

“Oh so all of a sudden you think you know what kind of omega I need.” Harry asks sarcasm practically dripping out of his mouth.

“Yes. I’m you best friend, of course I know what kind of mate you want.” Louis says it as if it’s common sense- but it’s not. Harry can’t even remember the last time Louis was around, when he pulled an omega he liked, or even flirted with one. If Louis truly knew what kind of omega Harry needed, the two of them would have been mated a while ago.

Harry rolls his eyes, shaking his head at Louis’ foolishness. “You say it likes its common sense but I’d be surprised if you remembered the last time I pulled.” Harry scoffs, because he’s a little done with the conversation. “And if best friends know best, if that’s what we’re going by, then I sure as hell think you need a different alpha.” Harry rips off a piece of his loaf, going to eat, but ends up mashing it together till it crumbles completely in his anger. Once again he feels a humming behind his teeth that make him want to bare them, in a barbaric twist of dominance. Show Louis, that he’s not joking around.

He simply just shakes his head instead and forces his teeth to drag his lower lip till it stings, staring fixatedly against the crumbs of his lemon loaf.

“So we’re back to this are we?” Louis asks, mouth stuffed full of coffee coloured cake. He already knows the answer, based on the way he’s gripping his mug, ready for Harry to bust a vein in anger like he did in the car earlier.

Harry’s glad when he manages to control the temper in his voice, though his hands go to grip the edges of the table. Louis doesn’t let it go unnoticed, but he doesn’t say anything, which allows Harry a calm breath out. “Yes, we’re back to this, considering the fact that Liam continually drags you away. ”

“What?” Louis breathes. “That’s a load of shit and you know it. He doesn’t keep me away from anything.”

Harry laughs into his cup, because you could stamp every time Liam’s done just that on Louis’ skin and he would still act as if they were nonexistent. Pretend like he has the perfect mate-to-be. Liquid dribbles down his chin, as he sets his mug down, laughing to himself even as he cleans the small mess he’s made. When he looks up it’s to a glare similar to the one Louis had earlier, harsh and waiting for a challenge.

Harry provides him with one. Wiping the amusement away to replace it with a glower, taking charge when Louis just sits there, expecting his answer. “Yes he does. He’s too traditional not to.”

“He’s not too traditional.” Louis argues, sitting there, hands wrapped around his mug, but fingertips twitching with the need to reach out and grab at any part of Harry he can reach. Still he sits there, twitching and uncomfortable, sipping his tea as he waits for Harry to calm himself out of his stupid alpha stupor. “You’re just being a fucking prick.”

Harry watches him from underneath his hair, seeing Louis eye his battered food, as he finishes his own loaf. He slides it over silently, and works himself up to looking at Louis as he does. When he finally reaches Louis’ eyes, pausing directly at Louis neck, because apparently his alpha is extra curious and barbaric today, he sees a certain hesitance that he doesn’t know how to read. It doesn’t sit good and for a moment Harry think Louis is going to smack him upside the head, right in the middle of this café, but when his hand moves, it’s towards the loaf and not Harry.

“You’re acting like I don’t know you or what you prefer at all. You seem to forget that most times you have pulled it’s because I’ve introduced you two, or because I encouraged it.”

Harry can’t help the slip of his mouth. “That’s a load of shit. Niall and I went out loads when he was back in town and more than once I pulled. And if I do recall correctly you weren’t there for any of it, considering you were absorbed with Liam.”

“Fine.” Louis admits. “So I wasn’t there the past couple times but that’s nothing compared to when I have been.”

“Actually it is, considering I’ve pulled more in those few nights than I ever have in months with you.”

It’s true, because even amidst his overly long infatuation with Louis, he’s not one opposed to sleeping around every once and a while. He’s pathetic at it though, every pull having a similar resemblance to Louis’ enough that Harry can get away with pretending for a while. During those few nights with Niall, who’d come for a visit from Ireland, he didn’t feel the overly curious eyes of Louis any time he stepped away from the group. He didn’t feel the need to hold himself back, just simply because Louis was present and for once he finally felt a little better because Louis hadn’t been there.

The morning afters always kicked his ass back to reality, but he had attempted not to focus on that. He had simply found himself in another’s bed, or busy with work, and he’d been happy to admit that it had caught up to him in slow drags, not large ones, and he had found easy ways to work through it all.

“What you think that just because you managed to be alpha enough a few nights, covers for all the times when you needed me to take control of things? Just because your alpha made a rare appearance for all of a few days doesn’t cover for all the times you’ve played the part of a beta.”

“Excuse me?” Harry sputters, eyebrows creasing while his alpha brings itself to his throat, growling. “Just because you’ve got a fucking brute of an traditional alpha who treats omega’s like shit doesn’t mean that has to become your standard. Some alpha’s, contrary to popular to belief, are able to know the difference between being controlling and protective of our mates.”

Louis draws out a growl of his own as he slams his hands against the table. “He’s not a fucking brute of an alpha. He doesn’t treat me like I’m less of a person because of my gender-“

“Yes he does Lou.” Harry interrupts. “He treats you like any and all omega stereotypes you’ve despised being associated with since you presented. You’ve become this omega willing to become brainless simply for the fact that you’ve got yourself a courtship.”

Harry knows he’s struck a cord. Louis’ was consistently adamant that though one day he’d like to be able to rely on an alpha, he never wanted to become their puppet. It’s a fast spreading idea that was once taboo, but had quickly become popular. Though it was a hot topic, omegas becoming steadily more independent, it wasn’t nearly as prevalent as barefoot and pregnant ones were. They weren’t in the newspapers or on television, but they were consistently in the streets, following behind their alphas.

Louis had recognized his lack of want or need to become that kind of person a long time ago, treated like scum in an alpha male world. And to see him, treated like that in even the slightest degree has Harry throwing it all back in Louis’ face. Attempting to make him see it.

Louis fumes, practically reaching across the table to hit Harry. “I am _not_ brainless. Just because I allow myself to be reliant on an alpha, and just because I find comfort in said alpha, doesn’t mean I’ve become a traditional standard sit down shut up omega.”

“Really Lou? What about the restaurant a couple weeks ago? You picking a salad as your main, but trying to sneak things off my plate, just so you could look like a good omega for you traditional alpha. Or how bout the fact that when Niall came up, you weren’t allowed to come out with the group of us because Liam was working and he didn’t think omega’s should go out by himself?”

“So what, he’s protective of me. That’s kind of a thing real alpha’s do for their mates!”

“Yes, Lou, understandably but when there are other alpha’s around to protect you he shouldn’t have to worry. If he truly trusted you he wouldn’t have made you stay home while the rest of us went and had an amazing time. You hadn’t seen Niall in months, and yet you were limited to when you could see him because Liam was being controlling.”

“He didn’t want me going out because if anything happens he wants to be there. And yes my time with Niall was limited because all everyone wanted to do was go out. Couldn’t there have been some nice nights in?”

Harry looks at Louis incredulously while sitting against metal backing of the chair. Astounded he looks around the café while the words sink in and he takes time to formulate an answer. “You the worst party animal out of all of us, wants to have a night in, instead of out. Has your new alpha truly changed you that much?”

Louis glares at him, while picking his tea back up and taking a gulp from it. Harry takes the time to take in a mouthful of his own, silently thankful for the allotted silence to allow him time to think. When Louis places his cup down, his tone comes out just as strong and angry as it was seconds ago, but it’s slowed down and precise like he’s trying to get his point across.

“So I’m settling down a bit. Most people settle down when they’re getting ready to mate.”

“What, is that what Liam’s told you so he can have you mated and pregnant in six months.” Harry’s eyes widen as soon as it slips, hand flying to his mouth.

Louis always had an aversion to being an omega simply because of the ability to have kids. It had taken him a while to come to realize that it wasn’t entirely something he minded, or should be ashamed of, and Harry had always been adamant about getting that across to Louis. Louis had only accepted it because like everything else, he made sure it was going to be his choice, not an alpha’s. For Harry to be using it against him while they’re fighting is not only horrible but also contradictory to what Harry’s been saying for the past few years. 

Louis growls out at Harry, harsh and protective as he attempts to broaden his shoulders while scowling. “If I am pregnant in six months, it will because I chose to start a family with my alpha. I will have an alpha, which will give me beautiful children if I so choose. That is not something you fucking get to use against me. Choosing to start a family with my mate is not a crime.”

Harry knows all of that. Pictured it perfectly as he imagined the two of them discussing when Louis would want to carry their pups. He feels horrible using against him now, because there were hours when he would just imagine what Louis would look like when he would get pregnant, and how amazing their kids would be. But all that’s drowned out as he tries to sputter out an apology.

“Lou-“

“No.” Louis cuts off, drowning his tea and standing up. He’s shoving his arms into his jackets holes with force and a strong glare at Harry. When he’s buttoned it across his chest and thrown on his scarf, he holds out his hand expectantly. Wordlessly Harry digs through his pockets for the keys and hands them over without issue, just expecting Louis to leave. But he’s surprised when Louis lingers.

Louis leans into Harry’s space, and jabs a finger harsh into his chest, glaring at his from under the mess of his fringe, his voice is shaky, ready to crack with the pressure of tears. It’s enough to make Harry falter completely. “You don’t get to say things like that and use things against me like you have. It’s none of your business and if you _wanted_ it to be you should have been _alpha_ enough to ask, _a long time ago._ ”

Harry freezes and for a moment it seems like everything else does as well. The words bleed through the air and for a few seconds the air holds a pink tint with the meaning behind what’s just been said. Louis looks at Harry, eyes swimming cocktails of anger and sadness, hope added like the umbrella to a martini. The fingers that are jabbing into his chest loosen in the frozen seconds, loosing their harsh intent, as Louis appears to do as well. Body melting with the hope that swirls against his blue irises.

But the swirling is gone as soon as it comes. Louis snapping back into portrayed anger with the friction of one second and the next. Before Harry knows it, the hope that had been blooming against the linings of his limbs falls back towards the mass of tissue of his brain that he associates with dreams, and he’s assaulted with the familiar slate of fight against his alpha as Louis becomes demanding again. Fingers jabbing harder that they had before, like that’s going to drive away those flew split seconds that just happened between them. Like his aggression will get rid of his soft moment, while Harry just stays silent, watching as Louis puts his entire being into several facial expressions, showing his aversion to Harry’s comments once again.

For once, Harry wonder’s how much of the enactment is true and how much is false.

“Liam isn’t a man I’ve pulled off the street and asked to play alpha because I needed it. He’s a man I love, who I’m going to spend the rest of my life with and it is not a crime to want to do things for him. If I feel the need to tell him he’s being too controlling then I will, but that is none of your fucking business.”

Louis backs away in quick succession, and Harry can feel a great tugging in his chest, alpha panicking at the steadily retreating form of his friend. Appalled that he’s letting Louis go after so long without seeing him, feeling like he hasn’t gotten his proper fill. Not at all mollified with the fact that he’s let, what he finally realizes, another opportunity go. His alpha rages continuously, letting Louis go, like he has every time in the past nine years.

It hurts like it has everytime, only magnified by a thousand. This time it’s more of a broken heart instead of a bruised one, finally having acknowledged that he is done trying. Though his mind has called it quits, his alpha seizes every other part of his body at the admission, and by the time he’s realized the change, he’s outside as if waiting to see Louis.

It’s evident that’s his alpha isn’t done trying. Working through the tiredness and resolute feeling of giving up in order to appease the idea that it’s not entirely over.

He stands out in the cold, exactly the same way he did two weeks ago, and wonders, not for the first time what the hell he’s doing. Wonders what the hell changed in those few seconds that they were face to face. Wonders what that flask of emotions Louis had been hiding in his eyes meant. And as he walks home, he asks himself if he’s the reason behind it.

 

                                                                                                                  **

 

Three days later and Harry finds himself sitting dumbstruck along his sofa, a stiff piece of stationary paper clasped firmly between his fingers.

It’s been a tough bout for a simple seventy-two hours, all entirely to blame on the presence of his alpha. His logic seems to have dissipated to the point where it barely registers in Harry’s brain. Enough for it to allow his alpha reign of his entire body, something that hasn’t happened ever except in the presence of his rut.

He feels reckless, but the part of his subconscious that usually snaps him out of his alpha induced stupors, seems to be in affability with his alpha on this one particular matter. That specific matter being Louis, and what happened closing in around seventy-two hours ago. Harry finds the lines blurred, alpha insistent that he’s on the verge of getting Louis. For once in what seems like forever, his alpha sees an opportunity and it’s willing to run Harry entirely ragged to seize it this time.

Harry’s helpless to the pull of his gut and instincts that drag him more than once to the outskirts of Louis building. Getting close enough that he snaps himself out of it between one step and the next, realizing that as much as he sees an opportune moment, Louis may not. And he’s right to assume that, with what he’s got gripped in his hand.

Harry hadn’t realized why Louis had been so adamant to get Harry on the proper page. The page everyone else around the courtship pair seemed to be glued to. Harry even plagued himself with going over every bit of conversation they had in that measly amount of time between Louis showing up and his doorstep and the time he stormed out of the café. He had simply come up with blank useless answers, that hadn’t seemed to add up. It had never even been a thought of his to consider the grander and most obvious answer that practically slapped him in the face, when he opened the envelope.

His first reaction was to dial Niall.

The phone had rung a total number of three times before a chipper voice was picking up. Harry would have smiled at the tone of his other best friend, but his face was stuck sombre, not registering anything other than the austerity that settled over him.

“Hello mate!” Niall’s voice was chipper as per usual; full of his Irish lilt that meant he’d been back home long enough to settle back into his accent. Harry could only listen as he stared at stationary paper, printed in some textured pattern like it was going to make things better.

Harry simply breathed into the phone, in truth not trusting his voice to actually answer his friend. His breathing rolled out of his chest and into the received as his only offer of conversation. It’s frightening that something so simple has brought him to silence and baited breath, unsure of what he’s capable of saying. What he’s able to force past the shattered mess of torn heart in his chest.

He practically hears Niall’s cheeriness drop to sympathy as he breathes a sigh of his own. The way Niall’s entire mood declines without Harry saying a single word makes the situation worse. Conscious without a doubt with his extensive knowledge of Harry’s love for Louis, what’s got Harry metaphorically and almost literally on his knees.

“So you got it huh?” Niall sympathize into the phone. Asking a completely redundant question.

Harry takes a moment to gather his voice, that too feeling like it’s been torn to shreds with the single piece of paper that’s slowly becoming heavier, the longer he holds it. When he does answer, it’s scratchy and frayed to the showcase the lowest levels of his betrayal, and anguish. “Y-yeah.” Even simply acknowledging it sets his skin on edge while his alpha tries to claw itself out of his chest.

Niall stays resolutely on the phone, most likely because that’s what Harry needs at the moment. Not for the first time, Harry’s insanely glad to have Niall, a rather reserved omega, who had always been one to understand Harry without a single question. It’s been a strong friendship built off of shaky means of each other needing help, but it’s held strong through the years, and for that Harry’s grateful.

“Care for a visit?” Harry attempts when he figures he should try to say something. The laugh falls short only moments after it’s left his throat, the evident crack in his tone taking over as his voice works over a tight feeling in his throat, like tears are on their way.

He can practically feel the empathy in waves through the receiver. There’s feedback on Niall’s side, and Harry can imagine him nodding his head though Harry can’t tell. Almost immediately after, Niall’s voice rings through the phone.

“Yeah mate.” He’s attempting to sound chipper that what he truly is. Harry wants to hug him for the effort. “Love a visit, been a while. Too long.”

Neither mention that it’s simply been a few weeks and they’ve gone a lot longer than that.

Niall seems to sense that Harry’s done talking and not for the first time, Harry’s thankful he’s got a friend like Niall. “Alright mate, just text me your flight and I’ll pick you up. Alright Harry?”

Harry gives a hum and that seems good enough for Niall.

“Just give me a call or text if you need anything else alright H?” Harry hums again and then Niall’s hanging up leaving Harry sat alone on his sofa, simply staring at the bloody white stationary card.

He books his flight half focused on what he’s actually doing while the other half remains locked on what’s in his hand.

When he manages to pick his body off the sofa long enough to actually pack, the white card haunts him. As he packs he adds things that were given to him by Louis, or articles that Louis had once stolen away, that continuously make his mind wonder to the card. As he packs majority of his closest and whatever else he figures he’ll need for at least a few weeks, Harry grabs the card and takes it with him for lack of knowing what else to do with it.

Harry manages to get to the door with it, though through his steps he’s crumpled it around the edges in his frustration and hurt. He lets it fall on the wooden to of his entry table as he gathers together a few shoes and jackets to add to his already bulging bags.

When his bags are finished, he goes about his flat, cleaning out whatever will go bad. He finds the majority of the food being pawned off to his overly friendly neighbour, Maggie, who accepts it without question. While his fridge is cleaned out and the garbage’s empty, Harry manages to edge in a small conversation with his mum, that steers in the total opposite direction, farthest from the reason he’s leaving. He manages to text Niall too after he’s rounded up the call with his mum, the women getting far to close to asking him flat out about Louis, and tells his friend that his flight should be arriving a bit past eleven that night.

When it comes around to eight, Harry’s driving himself up the wall with insanity and boredom, which he’s quickly learning is not a good mix, so he gets a cab early. When the cab calls and says they’re out at the front, Harry quickly finds himself getting his things together, ensuring that the television is off, along with any other devices and that he’s got all the things he needs, packed.

As he’s slipping across entryway table once more, he spots the white card, looking innocent against the dark mahogany, though it’s the exact reason behind Harry’s falling apart. For the quickest moment he relishes the idea of taking it with him, to cling onto one thing that still counts for the before. But the thought is quickly aborted from his head and he realizes the daunting it already has on him and without a second thought he crumples it and drops it outside his flat door, not at all caring that he’ll most likely be charged with littering.

Even as he’s sat in the cab’s backseat and the waiting area in the airport, and the middle seat of his ride over to Ireland, his mind never stops thinking of the black calligraphic letters that printed themselves across the white card.

Or more accurately the ivory textured mating invitation.

                                                                                                                     **           

_You are cordially invited to the mating ceremony of_

_Alpha Liam Payne and Omega Louis Tomlinson,_

_February the second, year two thousand and sixteen._

                                                                                                                     **

Liam settles his hand against Louis thigh for the fifth time in twenty minutes assuring the omega about something he’s not even concerned with. “Louis honestly, you’ve got nothing to worry about, mum and dad will love you.”

It’s rude to think and Louis has the nerve to scold himself, meeting Liam’s parents is practically the icing on the cake. Louis should be sweating through his clothes with nerves about this, but instead his thoughts are focused elsewhere. Nerves settled on the fact that he hasn’t heard from Harry in close to a week. It’s strange enough to cause a sinking feeling in his stomach that tells him something’s wrong in ways it shouldn’t be, and he’s almost itching to shove Liam’s hand away, demand to be taken back home.

But he doesn’t and he smiles at Liam as the alpha continues driving, squeezing Louis thigh every once and a while. Louis feels suffocated enough with all his worry and the touch, as small as it is, feels too much. Liam remains ignorant the ride there, working himself into an excited huff the more turns they take that lead them to his parent’s house.

As they round closer to the house, Louis feels nearly close to busting himself out of the car, attempted to ask Liam to slow down or stop for a breather. But before he can finally manage the courage to ask, they’re stopping in front of an above average looking home, and Liam is practically bounding out of his seat to get inside.

“I’m so excited for you to meet them.” Liam announces promptly before bounding out of the car.

Louis wishes he could share in the joy. It’s a major stepping-stone, meeting each other’s families, but Louis can only feel nerves for an entirely different reason. Numb to the importance of this dinner.

Liam rounds the car and pulls Louis out and up the walkway happily, like a kid in a candy shop, only to stop short and pull Louis the slightest bit behind himself. Louis frowns and goes to stand beside Liam but the other boy, puffs out his chest and suddenly goes stoic with a typical alpha stance and suddenly Louis understands.

He has to fight back the urge to mutter a cuss, and stays standing, idly behind his alpha. There’s very Harry sounding voice that pops into his head that repeats familiar statement of brutish controlling alpha. Louis nearly stomps his foot with a huff just to get the voice out of his head, and the frustration out of his body, but he doesn’t have time before a couple is opening the door. Their stance is identical to that of which him and Liam are standing in.

Mr. and Mrs. Payne then.

Liam’s father is the entire definition of traditional alpha, while his mother seems to be the matching omega. They’re the perfect pair with the way he stands almost entirely in front of his wife, while his gaze lingers a tad disapprovingly at Louis. Louis supposes that Liam had been generous and allowing Louis to only be _slightly_ hidden by his wider alpha frame.

The entirety of Louis body and mind screams out to leave, with possibly a curt _fuck you_ , considering the way Mr. Payne seems to glare when Louis follows through the door without instruction to do so. As soon as they enter the home Louis can sense and omega’s welcome with and overwhelming sense of alpha disagreement. Liam seems to have a silent conversation with his dad, before the older alpha gives and leads them into the kitchen with a curt nod of his head.

They all follow through and in greater lights, Louis notices Liam’s mom- Karen is the picture perfect omega housewife, could practically be out of a magazine. Apron on with a dress ironed just right.

Geoff- Liam’s dad sits and then Liam. Louis hesitates for the smallest of moments before seating himself, wincing a millisecond later when Liam gives him a tight smile. He hasn’t felt the need to be so alpha appeasing since presenting as omega in high school, not yet having established his morals. They’ve been concrete for years now but as he gets a levelling look from the alpha of the house, he nearly shakes in them and hurries to offer assistance to Karen, who’s wandering over with hands full of dishes.

“Is there anything I can help with Mrs. Payne?” His voice squeaks with nerves he hasn’t had in years. The knots that tighten unfamiliarly in his stomach ease the same way Geoff’s look of disagreement does. Karen smiles kindly and shakes her head while she sets the table in what seems to be a practised fashion, which Louis can imagine it is.

Louis’ feels his morals screaming at him the entire dinner as slides them by. Louis made to feel daintier than he likes to, Liam filling out into his alpha the more conversation with his dad progresses, making Louis feel small and cornered, bringing about feelings of useless back to the his chest as he just sits there blatantly not allowed to join in on their conversation.

He’s tossed for a surprise when Geoff addresses him, glass of wine poised by his face and he looks intently at Louis.

“So Louis what is it that you do?”

He’s clearly waiting for an omega standard answer. That ranges from the broad spectrum of lower entry jobs, nothing that holds too much power or alpha centric. That would indicate teachers, nurses, childcare, or anything ranging in that department. Louis wishes, just to make the conversation easier and admit that yes, one of those things is what he does but he sputters out his answers which is a polar opposite to anything Geoff was expecting. 

“I’m actually working in sports marketing, proper title is sports marketing account executive. I work mostly within the football league but I have expanded into rugby, and I basically over see and scout out sponsorships and public relations for the players I represent as well as overall teams.”

Liam gives him a look, like he should have held half of that back, and Geoff gives him a look like he shouldn’t’ have answered at all. He ignores it and attempts to smile, but that’s simply dropped away when Geoff opens his mouth once again.

“But you’ll be dropping that promptly after the mating, correct?”

Liam’s looking at him with an attempted plea, looking more like a stern warning, to just agree and move on with the conversation but, Louis shakes his head with a frown.

“I’ve actually only just gotten to a good spot career wise and I don’t think it’s entirely smart to just drop it because I’m starting a life with someone.”

“So you don’t think my son can provide for you? Is that the issue, you feel the need to be an omega who insults their alpha by working and not taking care of the home?”

Louis sputters, attempting to bite his tongue from swears he wants to spew, while also trying to back track. “No- I’m completely aware that Liam is capable of providing for me-“

“And what of the plans to have children. It’s normal to get the omega pregnant within six months of mating. Are you going to insult your alpha further by saying you don’t want his pups right away. That you don’t want to take care of his heirs and his home.”

Louis’ practically got steam spewing out his ears, and curses lining up to be fired off the tip of his tongue but he silences them, and attempts to play nice. Though he can’t help the bite that inserts itself in his every word. “I would love to have our kids one day, but seeing as I’ve just started my career, and I plan on going further with it, children are not in the cards immediately. Liam and I will need time to settle into being mated and working our lives around each other’s, before we have kids.”

“So that’s a no.” Geoff looks entirely unimpressed, while Louis matches his glare, equally blasé.

“It’s a no for at least a year or so, yes.”

The time rolls on after that, though it goes about as fast as a tedious activity. Louis sits himself silent, while receiving the occasional look of warning from Liam, and a full body glare from his father. Alpha of the house clearly not bemused with being out talked and receiving back the bite he gives, in his own traditional home.

When their visiting time has come to two hours, Louis finds himself preparing tea and plating biscuits while the alphas have sorted themselves into the living room to watch television.

Him and Karen remain behind to clean up the kitchen, though the effort isn’t entirely voluntary, more of an expected action.  They don’t talk but from the looks he gets from Karen, she seems to understand his conflict.

It remains ignored between the two of them, the way Louis obviously doesn’t fit in with the family. Obviously having been picked out wrong by an equally as wrong alpha, Liam having fallen short of Louis’ expectation more than a few times tonight. Falling victim to his father’s views, though Louis isn’t too sure how much is actually the influence of the older alpha.

Louis head becomes a scattered desk of charts upon comparisons to argue his morals against the idea he had of Liam in his head. Evidently his ideas against reality, doesn’t match up point for point, but Louis still finds himself trying to tell himself that it’s okay. Attempting to make up one more excuse that makes up for Liam’s lack of attention to his morals.

None come up and yet again Louis finds himself sat, this time with tea, and a single biscuit allotted by Liam, with Harry’s adamant voice trailing off in his head. It’s enough to have him twitchy like he’s trying to get away from the traditional and back to where he sits comfortably as a modernized independent omega.

Still he does along with the conversation, paying close, closed-lipped attention to that of the words exchanged between Liam and his dad.

“…Well you and Louis will be settling into that quickly.” Louis’s momentary blank makes him clueless as to what him and his courtship are to be settling into. When he glances over at Liam, he gets a kind smile for what seems like the first time that night.

He returns it while Liam clears up his confusions. “Was just saying to mum, how much I’ve missed a nice home cooked meal and dad was nice enough to remind me that we’ll be there soon.”

Louis is nearly attempting to laugh in his face at the mention of cooking. Liam will be lucky if Louis is kind enough to order enough takeout for the two of them when they become mated, let alone be able to make a full home cooked meal.

His amusement is interrupted by Geoff’s voice. “Well yes, when is it going to be Liam?”

Geoff has his own look of amusement on his face while he asks, while Liam looks a tad uncomfortable.

“About a months time. The second of February if I’m not mistaken.”

Louis chokes on his tea in surprise, while Karen’s expression turns excited. When Louis turns to Liam the alpha is avoiding Louis glare with valiant effort. Louis nearly swats him upside the head, for both that and the date mix up.

“I was positive we set the date for May Liam.”

The response results in Karen’s expression falling while Liam’s jaw draws tight, with a smile.

It’s not the first one tonight, he’s gotten several tight-lipped smiles from Liam, that are more of a silent command then a look of reassurance. They go along with tightened hands against the thickness of his thighs, like they’re handing out warnings. Louis feels scolded, but not for the first time and he’s had enough this time around.

“We did love, but that’s too long of a courtship so we pushed it up. It looks better that way.”

Louis can’t even believe what he’s hearing. Pushing up their mating date, without a single question to Louis if it was okay. He’s tempted to ask who’s the other party in the decision but he’s already got a sinking feeling of whom it is.

Geoff sits in his chair smug, while Karen sips her tea, attempting to be anywhere but in the range of Louis scathing glare. “It’s entirely too long to have a courtship for nearly a year. Law says the entirety of a courtship has to be at least six months before it can turn into a mating and if I’m not mistaken, you’re courtship hit the six month mark a couple weeks ago. So it was more publicly suitable that we move it up, rather than wait another unnecessary five months.”

Liam nods once again but he still holds a sign of anger in his shoulders, that’s entirely directed towards Louis and not his nosey father. Louis’ off with a quick whisper, excusing himself off to the bathroom, embarrassed and enraged at the lack of control he’s had all night. Not content to look upon as Geoff looks smug while having the upper hand on the single most important day of his life. That on top of all the disapproving looks and reactions he’s received all night. He promptly pulls out his phone and calls a taxi, shaking himself back to empathetic as he attempts to get the stares off his back.

It’s difficult to get the disapproving looks off his back but he’s feeling more like himself the more he splashes his face with cold water. Rolling his shoulders like he’s trying to shrug himself out of the omega stereotype he’s been stamped with once again tonight.

He’s in a better state, mentally, when his phone rings saying the taxi is outside. Louis mutters his thanks and manoeuvres himself back into the living room, interrupting before he looses his nerve to leave all together.

“Mum called and mentioned there’s something wrong with Ernest, so while she’s got to take him in to hospital I’ve got to go look after the other girls.”

Liam eyes him dubiously, like he doesn’t believe a word he says. He’d be right to considering it’s a flat out lie, not even a small white one. He’s lying to escape the microscope he seems to be under, scrutinized to the point where he feels a long shower and rest is going to be his only cure. Along with some distance from his courtship alpha, which is definite to help.

Karen gives him and understanding look while Geoff looks put out for being interrupted. Louis couldn’t care at the moment, seeing as he’s nearly busting to get out the door, and standing there is wearing his patience thin. It’s been stretched tonight to the point of no return and Louis is surprised it hasn’t snapped yet, surprised he hasn’t blown his fuse yet at all the traditional expectations he’s been failing to live up to.

He almost prides himself on both accounts of remaining level headed and independent.

Liam still nods his head, as to not cause yet another disturbance with Louis lack of manners. Louis finds himself followed, and not in a comforting way, into the hallway as he practically throws on his jacket and shoes, anxious to get out of there.

“You’re really shit at lying didn’t you know.” Liam mutters, just when Louis clasps the door handle, thinking he was going to get out without this conversation.

“Looks like I’m not the only one.” Louis fires back, though he does attempt to be hushed about it. “At least I don’t lie to my courtship about the single most important day of our lives. At least I don’t lie about how I treat people of certain genders.

Liam has the audacity to look astonished. “Just because I hadn’t told you about the date change doesn’t mean I wasn’t going to. _And_ , Louis I treated you exactly the same way as I always do, which is fairly.”

_Lies, lies, lies._

“You’re a liar.” Louis hisses, hitting Liam’s chest. “I haven’t felt this useless and this small since I was in high school. Treated like scum by teenage alpha’s who thought they were superior just because they had a knot to pop!”

Liam still manages to look affronted. “That’s not at all how I’ve treated you!”

Louis scoffs. “Oh really Liam, then why do I have this sinking feeling that everytime you looked at me tonight or touched me, was simply as a warning to behave. Why do I feel like you’re embarrassed to be with me, a modernized omega, in front of your very obvious traditional family?”

“None of that’s true. You’re making something out of nothing Louis!”

“So changing our mating date is nothing! Our invitations have already been sent out, and I didn’t even know the proper date on them, because you felt the need to please daddy more than the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with!”

“It’s a bloody date Louis, not a child!” Liam scoffs, shaking his head. “You need to get over it!”

“It’s not just a bloody date! It’s our mating ceremony, where we permanently become one another’s! It’s also a bloody date that is far too soon! We agreed on May!”

“So what it’s upped a bit sooner! That shouldn’t be a big deal, just work around it!”

“You just expect me to drop everything because I’m the omega! Honestly Liam, did you ever think that maybe I had plans that week! Did you even consider that it’s the day after Harry’s birthday!” And okay that wasn’t entirely supposed to come out. Liam looks worse off as soon as Louis says it, shoulders squaring as he shifts from pissed to enraged.

“That’s what’s got you in a fit? That it’s near Harry’s birthday! You think I give a damn about him!” Liam yells, beyond caring if his parents hear.

Louis throws his hands up in the air, getting angrier himself. He feeds off Liam’s rage, the anger swirling through the entryway, stifling. “You damn well should! He’s my best friend-“

“Oh he’s a hell of a lot more than that Lou!” Liam snarls. “Give me enough credit where it’s due to know that he’s more than just that. He always has been.”

“Oh so you’re bringing it around to this now!” Louis asks astonished.

“Yes I’m bring it around to that now, because he’s the reason behind your hesitation! He’s the reason you won’t fully be my omega!”

“You think Harry is the reason I won’t be your omega?” Louis counters. “What about the fact that I don’t want to be the omega that idles behind their alpha, while that’s exactly what you want. You just want me to be this traditional sit back shut up toy you can knock up and demand around whenever you want!”

“Not true!” Liam tries to argue, but Louis shakes his head adamant.

Louis pushes against Liam’s chest, hands digging into the meat of his pecks as he pushes away the alpha in anger. Louis finds his hands being hit down, in retaliation, but he can’t help but loose focus when Liam’s courtship necklace swings across his chest. Without a second thought Louis grabs it and tugs harsh enough to break the chain and have it dangle in his hands.

Liam looks even worse off, angry and now hurt but Louis can’t bring himself to care. Anger surging through him without regret. He deftly tugs against the chain of his own courtship necklace and hurls it at Liam’s chest, though the alpha makes no move to catch it, and it falls to the ground with a delicate thump.

“Entirely true. I don’t want to be your omega because I don’t want to sit their silent and obedient while you command my life. You’ve done it for six months and I can’t believe I haven’t realized it. If this one dinner is going to reflect the rest of our life together, I’m already tired of it.” Louis pauses, in just time to see Liam roll his eyes and scoff like it isn’t incredibly true.

Louis lets out a snort of his own, shaking his head. “Though it seems you can’t get enough. If you want that kind of omega you’ve clearly picked the wrong one for the job.”

Liam falls short, like he’s going to argue, but there’s nothing left to argue about. Louis’ expression sours from anger to hurt as he thumbs against the pendant of the necklace he had once given Liam in love, but had taken back in anger. It rests lightly in his palm as the recognition flows out into the tense space. A sinking feeling in his chest amounts to more of a deep decrepit hole, when he realizes what the necklace in his palm means.

“That’s it?” Liam asks in amazement, like he’s honestly still surprised that Louis is quick to make his own decisions.

“That’s it.” Louis states with finality, holding onto the necklace tightly, one certain voice trailing itself through every crevice of Louis body that was willing to listen. When Liam does nothing but nod, Louis can see nothing but the valiant smirk of a certain green-eyed best friend. All he wants to do is go crawl in with Harry the longer he stands there.

They stand there both a little scared at their revelations than they originally thought they’d be. Louis had always imagined this was a possibility; every couple did when they began their courtship. But Louis had never imagined breaking it off in a way like this, not to this magnitude. Not to the point where he felt like a subpar human being.

He leaves without another word, and hops into the cab, sitting against the worn leather seats, contemplating everything that settled itself in his head. Harry’s words yet again echoing throughout his skull as he attempted to lull himself with the drive back to his flat.

For the first time since Harry argued it, Louis couldn’t help but agree with the statements that Liam was overly brutish and traditional. His entire being, personality and over all thinking, was not at all fitting to that of Louis’. It never had been because there had been another person fit exactly for that.

As the ride back to his flat turns him dreary and tired, Louis finds himself already thinking of an alpha that wasn’t at all like the one he had just left behind.

 

                                                                                                                    **

Louis in all truth ends up at Harry’s flat.

In complete honestly Louis has no reason to go there, other than he still thinks Liam’s going to show up at his, try to talk things through when evidently Louis doesn’t want too. It’s been three days, nearing on four and he knew the possibility of Liam seeking him out was slim but he still finds himself at the familiar place. It’s the third day into not talking with Liam and a week into the new-year and he finds himself opening up the worn door of Harry’s place, with a bag over his shoulder. The comfort that immediately seeps into his bones is overwhelming but entirely welcome and for a moment, he waits to hear any sign of Harry stirring, but he’s only welcomed by silence.

It goes on like that, and when Louis goes to step farther into the house he kicks forward a familiar looking piece of paper into the entry way. He doesn’t even have to pick up to know what it is. He specifically remembers fighting over that invitation and another Liam, until he had resigned himself to the hideous texted that was the white invite.

Louis closes the door, and ventures out into the small expanses of the flat, looking into the rooms only to reaffirm his suspicions when he lets himself into Harry’s space. It’s a little ransacked, things out of shape compared to usual order it’s in. Louis figures it’s from Harry’s quick leaving, if the misconstrued hangers are anything to go off of, and the absence of Harry’s familiar tote that usually rest at the end of his bed. Examining the entire room he sits himself on Harry’s bed, dropping his bag, adjusting to the fact that he’s alone.

Harry had left. Just like he said he would.

Louis remains on the bed agitated, just looking around the room, unsure of what to do around something that’s so distinctly Harry’s, without said boy around. He chews along his nail, a horrible habit he’s never been able to quit, while he sits scared amongst a scent that belongs to the one person he wishes was sitting beside him.

He sits there a bit confounded as he takes in his surroundings once again. The atmosphere reminds him of his ever distant and unsure relationship with Liam, or really the lack there of. The messy state of the room easily resembling the unsure state of Louis’ courtship. Louis knew he had to fix things, sort things into their rightful spots, so it could be clean and sorted once more, albeit a few changes, but he stills at back in procrastination while also lacking the heart to get rid of what had to go.

It’s been a constant that’s been running through his head, since he left the Payne’s household. His hesitance is built of the fact that he’s not entirely sure if he can go back to being as ignorant as he had been. The ignorance that had submerged itself in practically everything Louis had been doing, and in the recent hours since all of that had been removed, Louis finds himself bombarded with the knowledge that’s come with it. His ignorance has passed and he’s suddenly found himself faced with ideals that make him want to put them back exactly where they came from.

It certainly doesn’t help when he finds himself immersed in the flat of the number one thing he can’t stop clinging to. Louis finds his hand clinging to the fabric engrossed with Harry’s scent harder each time he moves. Each and every time he shuffles past Harry’s closest, he has to bite the urge to take the one that smells most strongly of the alpha and bury himself in it, like a mate while nesting.

It’s pathetic really.

Regardless he still find his urges giving in, his feelings absorbing into every cavity in his chest. It causes a chain reaction of a heavy settling in his chest from the alpha’s absence, and with only few minutes within Harry’s room, Louis acknowledges that it’s certainly been there for a while. Though, just like everything else around him, the way Louis realizes he’s gone for Harry, builds to tower height. Strong like nothing else that remains firm in his head, no matter how hard he tries to take it down. It’s relentless, Harry’s voice in his head, telling Louis that he’s always been there. That he’s been the one to set his omega alive, and Louis can’t find anything in his entire body to deny it.

Though he feels an insane surge from just being around Harry’s scent, there’s still a crushing sinking feeling that makes him stand shakily. Louis feels the irrational urge to call Harry and demand that he come home. Demand that this boy, this alpha come home and become _his._

The sensation hits him like a bag of bricks and he feels the heaviest onset of guilt when he completely looses the desire to have Liam as his alpha. That in the short expanse of radio silence from Liam, Louis has quickly changed his mind, though most of it was already there subconsciously. His feelings easily complying with the demands of his omega which swears that both parts of him need the alpha that’s been by his side since he presented.

The alpha that practically claimed Louis at fifteen.

The simple admission has Louis loosing his breath, falling backwards on the bed.

It had only been a day after Harry’s fifteenth birthday, and the younger boy had presented. Louis and everyone else had been surprised, what with Harry coming for an entirely beta family. Louis had figured he was far from being alpha, far too reserved for it and too outstandingly big for an omega. Louis had been surprised to find out that Harry most definitely was alpha.

It had been embarrassing, the fact that Louis was there when Harry presented into himself fully. Louis found it was due to the fact that Harry, after that day, made Louis swing into his first full heat, rather that the demi ones he had been having since he presented.

Louis’ arms erupt into goose bumps when he recalls the feeling he had been presented that day. Working Harry through his day of becoming and alpha, only to finally present fully, at sixteen, triggered by a brand new alpha. It had been a mess and Louis had been confused for days, trying to edge himself away in awkwardness and hesitant.

But Harry had figured that, anticipated it even, because he knew even before Louis did, and Louis found himself in a wave of familiarity with Harry before he even grasped he could be. They settled back into their friendship like before, Harry dragging Louis more so, but Louis still found himself trying to take control of something that no matter how hard he had tried, he couldn’t grasp.

He tried every type of alpha to attempt to gain back the control that he had figured he had lost. Naïve with confusion and teenage years, Louis played around with all the different types, though he never went any further that an arm around his shoulder. It had never sat well because he had always been looking for _Harry_ and no matter how much he tried, no alpha could fit the role of that special kind of alpha. The one practically fitted for him.

Liam had been the singular stark contrast that Louis had finally allowed. It was more of a complacent action that he had done to appease his mum, the woman getting antsy about future in-laws and possible grandchildren. Louis had run to the first alpha he could to placate his mum, but before he had time to process the actual situation he had been courted and was planning for a mating. The time slipped from him quicker than the reality of it all had, and before he had time to take in what had happened, he had found himself in a cab, reflecting on the fast happenings of the past six months in a short cab ride.

Even within the amount of allotted six months regardless of his courtships alpha disproval, Louis had still found himself springing at any chance he could to be around Harry. It resulted in quite a few rows between the two of them, and each and every time Louis still clung to Harry like a lifeline, even as he picked out invites and colour schemes. Evidently he hadn’t and wasn’t ever going to be ready to give himself over to any other alpha that Harry, which was evident.

Louis ends up calling him, pacing along the worn floorboards that are accustomed to Harry’s own footfalls. He can’t resist the need to anymore; desperate to talk to the person he’s finally comprehended is supposed to be his, _god_ the person he’s been moulded to be with since he was sixteen. It’s overwhelming and makes him desperate to talk to Harry, the sound of his voice just the smallest bit of reassurance that he’s finally right after all this time. That he has no reason to second-guess his need for the alpha.

It’s against his better judgement, and he considers hanging up, but then a ring cuts halfway through and Harry’s voicemail rings through and Louis nearly melts once again into the sofa. He knows the random cut-off is a sign that Harry’s ignored his call, and _god_ he’s going to give him hell for it later but for the time being he stays silent and attuned. He listens to the rough brogue of Harry’s voice, finding comfort in the neutral and standard message. He smiles despite himself and even when the beep goes he remains silent, just sitting there absorbed in having heard Harry’s voice.

He hangs up, after realizing he probably sound like an idiot, shaking his head as he walks to Harry’s closest, completely bypassing his own bag and grabbing one of the few sweaters left on the length of the closet.

He strips himself down, only to pull Harry’s sweater back on. He doesn’t resist the need to dive into Harry’s bedding and does just that, flopping onto the neatly made surface and burrowing himself deep. Louis brings the duvet up to his nose, inhaling deep and finding his eyes getting heavier with each breath.

It’s barely moments later that he’s falling asleep. He feels more peaceful that he ever did with Liam, and not for the first time, he wonders if it should have always been Harry.

 

                                                                                                                       **

 

When Louis is woken up the next morning, it’s to his phone ringing with insistence.

Louis has half the mind to ignore it, seems like it’s going to work in his favour when the phone cuts off. But it comes back again merely seconds later, and then everything registers. He bolts up and scrambles for his phone. Picking it up in haste, he knocks over the couple picture frames that were on the night table and his twisting allots that half the mass of blankets ends up on the floor.

“Hello.” He answers, voice still sleep muddled though it remains hopeful, eager to hear the deep brogue of the person he so desperately needs to hear. He’s disappointed when the lighter tone of Liam rings through the other end.

“Hello Louis.” It’s Liam. The short tone, lacking the warmth and familiarity that Harry carries, making it evident that it isn’t the alpha he was hoping for.

Louis allows himself flop back onto the bed, snuggling into Harry’s sheets, though as soon as he settles, he’s tense, just waiting for Liam to start talking. He doesn’t have to wait long, because if Liam is anything, he’s prompt and blunt, especially when the situation calls for it.

“I’m assuming you know why I’m calling.” Liam goes straight to the point, just like Louis figured he would. He’s entirely terse in his question, though they both know it’s rhetorical.

Louis answers just as curt. “Yeah I do.” His voice cracks with early morning tone, but he clears it quickly, adamant on making sure Liam doesn’t think he’s breaking. He not, he’s anxious to get the conversation over with if anything, anxious to get this relationship over with as well.

Breathing out into the receiver, he hears Liam sign his own, and they both stay in silence, just waiting for each other to say something. Louis’ still on edge entirely unsure of how to say what they both need to hear right now. The confirmation needs to be said, and from the way they’ve both halted over the line, Liam knows it too.

“So we’re both on the same page then?” Liam breathes out. There’s a sound of rustling in the background when Liam says it and Louis wouldn’t doubt that Geoff is there. Probably standing close to the receiver, hearing Louis speak, if he’s not already on speaker phone, happy that Louis’ indefinitely not going to be joining the family.

“Based on the other night, I’d say we’re far from the same page.” Louis answers, just because he can. The sass slips off his tongue before he realizes, and for once with Liam he doesn’t feel the need to bit it immediately after. “But in some sense, yes we do have an understanding.”

Liam sighs heavily, and Louis can practically see him rubbing his forehead in anguish, like the already decided situation is causing him stress. “So that’s it?” Louis questions, though the answer is quite obvious. Louis made sure to do that three nights ago when he finally fell against the tidal wave of overwhelming emotions. Despite being very clear in what his intentions are, Louis understands that reluctance that seems through the phone. Their relationship hadn’t been a pinkie promise of forever between teens; it had been a commitment by adults, who had figured they were ready for that type loyalty and permanent kind of love. It hadn’t been a light decision to say yes, and it’s not any easier to retract that answer either.

Louis feels the reluctance fill his body, but it’s more of guilt for letting it get this far when he shouldn’t have lost track of his needs and morals just to appease those around him. It’s an ultimate shitty feeling, and Louis is honest enough to admit he used Liam and he’s never going to be able to fix it no matter how much he may apologize.

“I’m really sorry Liam.” He says it anyway, because it’s the right thing to do. He truly means it, enough that the feeling causes his eyes to well the slightest bit.

“Me too Lou.” Liam answers back, without hesitation. He huffs into the phone and Louis can hear his not so steady breaths, and he’s almost tempted to hang up and leave it there on decent terms, but Liam voice beats that option out the way when his voice calls through the receiver. “I’m sorry that I made you feel useless. I know how independent you are, and I didn’t mean to take that away from you. It’s why I was drawn to you, but I don’t quite think I’m that modernized yet.”

Louis laughs into the phone and rolls his eyes in a playful manor. “Definitely not modern enough for me.” He jokes and he hears Liam chuckle a bit on the other line as well. It fades out and Louis takes the opportunity to be sincere on his own. “I’m sorry that I used you too. I was kinda pressured from my mum to start looking for a mate, and I just didn’t find the right one I guess.”

“You have.” Louis’ eyes widen in response, surprised at Liam’s timely reaction. The words bring forth wonder, hand balling into a fist just waiting for Liam to continue talking. Wondering if he’s truly going to go there.

He does.

“You’ve always had the right alpha around Lou, you just didn’t realize he was there.” Louis can almost hear Liam’s tight smile over the line, because as accepting as they are, it’s still fresh and difficult. Dancing around the reason why they’re breaking off their courtship.

“Liam-“

“It’s okay Lou.” And from the other side of the receiver, Liam does sound fine. “You’ve got Harry. As much as it sucks breaking a courtship, you’ve got him and you’re meant to be with him.”

Louis chest heaves with a sharp intake of breath and he hears Liam let out a small laugh over the line. Louis laughs a bit too, but it’s still a shock to hear someone other than himself acknowledge it.

“It’s why I never liked Harry. I knew even before and while I was there you two were meant for each other and I couldn’t do anything to separate you two, no matter how hard I tried.” Liam admits and Louis mentally catalogues that as reasonable. Louis can’t help but smile with what’s said, a tad bit smug at the idea that nothing had been able to come between them.

Even with the smile on his face, Louis feels the need to apologize again. “I’m still really sorry. I hope you can find someone as well.”

“I hope so too.”

It remains silent for a few seconds, and Louis feels the finality settle between them. They good byes come without hesitance and finally Louis finds himself with his phone in his hand instead of by his ear, while the call ends itself.

The lightness and immediate relief floods him, like nothing else. Close to overwhelming him the same way he was three days ago when leaving Liam at his parents house. It’s still welcomed and Louis allows himself the valued luxury of stayed in bed, encased by Harry’s scent.

He basks in as much time as he can before reality calls him back. Working his limbs into moving so he can get ready for work. He’s got a late meeting with a group of investors for one of his new clients and he’s put off getting ready enough to make him have to hurry.

The desperation to not leave behind the scent of the alpha he’s clinging too becomes overpowering enough that Louis finds himself shrugging on one of Harry’s button ups instead of his own. The material appears baggy on him, wider in places Louis can’t fill, but its comforting and ensuring enough that Louis finds the idea of leaving more appealing. Louis finds himself simply playing with tattered ends and buttons of the worn black button down. It’s one of Harry’s favourites, enough that even amidst the laundry detergent, Harry’s smell weaves through the fabric, untouchable from the artificial scent.

Amidst playing with the hem of the alpha’s shirt, he looses track of time and when he actually realises the clock has just struck five minutes past seven thirty and ten minutes past when he was supposed to leave. Louis ambles as calmly and quickly as he can before he’s locking Harry’s apartment and hurrying to his car to meet with his new client.

The drive is easy and surprisingly quick, but when he arrives to the appointment it’s anything but that. The lawyer that’s accompanied the player is trying to be hard on his demands, full of alpha stock that allows the man to think he’s got the upper hand. The lawyer he’s dealing with evidently thinking Louis was going to bring forth an traditional sense of omega arguing that would let the man get what he pleases. He evidently doesn’t, because even with Louis being a young marketing executive he’s got more backbone and big accounts than others and it allows him to push back just as hard. And Louis obviously left the vulnerable omega than man was expecting at Harry’s apartment.

Louis still finds the man’s ignorance, and degrading looks difficult, and it’s hard not to show it until they’ve both left the room. He feels happy, and successful like he always does when he’s gotten clients to sign their contracts, though the lawyer still weighs on his mind. It’s a bit easier as he drives back to Harry’s apartment, playing with the buttons along Harry’s shirt and allowing himself to smell the alpha’s scent when it moves throughout the air.

It gets exceptionally better when Louis steps into Harry’s apartment again, and the scent is everywhere and on everything. Louis settles in and it’s easier to let the past few hours, and past few days slip away as he finds himself sinking into the couch and cuddling into the cushions while he flicks on the television.

He stayed there, lonely but yet, still swarmed in the scent of the one person he wanted to be his.

 

                                                                                                                           **

 

A month into Ireland, and Harry had run out of clothes along with reasons to stay.

His suitcase had emptied and laundry baskets had filled with evidence of his everyday commitment to leaving London behind. It’s been rewarding, knowing the articles he’s chosen to wear and wash, numerous amounts of times carry new memories and experiences of his time away. The already worn fabric getting tatty in more spots with the evidence of a well-spent vacation. But as a month in Ireland drew near Harry had found that he was ready to trade in these newly worn in ones, for the simple memorable ones he had left back home. The ones that distinctly reminded him of the reason he had left.

The times he spent here had been fun, Niall having dragged him to as many outings as there were days in a year, just to keep Louis off his mind. But even amidst his time of trying to forget, Louis lingered like a bruise. The attempt to set Harry’s mind elsewhere from where it had been consistently plastered to for the last nine years, had been valiant but a failure. It had worked about as good as an ibiprophen for a broken limb. The nights filled with pub food and drinks and the days filled with hangovers and new friends had worked to mildly numb the pain, but it still allowed a heavy throb where Louis was continually missing.

Throughout each day, the smallest amount of time alone or the smallest reminder allowed him to drift off to the missing piece, which he had foolishly left behind. The smallest fraction of anything, led Harry’s head to be filled with the omega he desired when it was supposed to be muddled with friends or alcohol or even sleep. Regardless of anything he found himself absorbed in drinking pints of Louis’ favourite beer even though he couldn’t stand the after taste of it. Or putting off wearing his favourite sweater simply because the fibres of it still carried Louis scent, and whenever Harry was feeling particularly desperate he would allow himself a moment to scent it like it was his life source. And also denying his body and mind restful sleep because he consistently dreamed of oceans collapsing in white caps, which carried the same cerulean hues of Louis eyes just before they tumbled into themselves with the anguish of lost love.

It certainly hadn’t been easier either when he had gotten a phone call abruptly from Louis just days after he left. He declined it before his brain could properly process what he had done and even then, he hadn’t known how he would have felt about talking to Louis. The surge he had felt when Louis name had appeared on his screen was similar to a child getting caught red handed doing something they shouldn’t have done. It’s a sick twist of getting away with leaving that led Harry to ignore the message till he was going home.

The lack of ability to loose the memory or the lack of wanting to be free of it led to Harry coming home. He left conflicted with everything around him, having followed trails of so many different natures that always led him back to square one, a mix of toleration and down right variance of having to let Louis go. It was a clash of the humane side of Harry that wanted to settle and be at peace with what was inevitable and the overbearing alpha that varied, very strongly with that idea. His alpha was still itching against Harry’s chest, begging to claim Louis like he had wanted to since he was seventeen, despite Harry’s constant restraint.

The lack of ability to know what to do is confusing at best, and when the homesick feeling settles enough into Harry’s heart, he figures he can muse over letting Louis go in London, the same way he had been in Ireland.

The flight he catches is late on the Thursday evening, and it gets delayed twice. Regular departing time had been at six but that turned into nine with a three-hour wait. Throughout the entirety of it all, whether it be in a line of a convenience store, or sitting in the uncomfortable airplane seats, he finds himself buzzing with the anticipation to get home.

It edges him through the hour-long flight, that’s filled with rude people and stuffy congested spaces. The want to get home keeps him awake while he’s navigation his way throughout the airport and to hail a cab. As he slumps into the worn and taped leather of a cab, he finds himself glad and prepared to be home.

While the drive drags on Harry’s finger rests and hesitates over the button to his voicemail. The red notification still lingers on the screen even three weeks later, but Harry hasn’t had the nerve to listen to it, afraid of what it would say. Ultimately his fingers make up their own mind, pressing the button before Harry can do much else. Reluctantly he brings the speaker to his ear and just listens to the silent but steady breathing on the other end of the phone.

Even with simple breaths, Harry’s already wrapped up in what those silent heaves mean. Resting his head against the dirty glass of the cab, Harry feels the heavy on set of fatigue settle into his body, which is worn down from the time away. The message replays in his ear once more, and Harry feels his entire body ache to be beside the person who’s breathing it is. He goes to reply it a third time, before realising his pathetic actions and hanging up. His entire being is wholly prepared though anxious enough to make him jostle his knee even with his weariness the closer he gets to his building.

Harry’s bags weigh down his arms while his fatigue wears down his ability to be alert. His oblivion sweeps him forward and around the street of busy people up into his building that holds the bed he just wants to collapse into.

The second he steps away from the hallway and into his flat he stops, abrupt with half his body still out in the hallway. His tiredness disappears in the same second that his eyes snap around his flat while his shoulders tense with the smell that bombards him from every corner of his flat.

Harry bags drop with a resounding thump against the cheap wooden floor, which prompts the figure in his bed to bolt up right. Harry doesn’t even need to see who’s in his bed before he’s inhaling the scent that emanates from within his duvet.

“Lou.” Harry breaths watching in confusion as Louis sits up further, sleepy as he brushes away the bed head stuck against his forehead. It’s instant though, Harry can see the way Louis’ body stills when he realizes it’s him standing in the door, bags at his feet while he looks on wondering why there’s an omega in his bed.

Harry can see Louis’ hands twitch against the duvet like he’s about to lift it and get out of the bed, though they still in the worn fabric on second thought. It’s understandable, Harry has to dig his nails into the palm of his hands to stop the instinct to run over and smother Louis. He looks vulnerable, soft and sleepy while bundled up, enough that Harry’s alpha urges him to step forward.

He does but stops when Louis breath stutters out, both of them remaining still just like the silence over the room. Harry breaks it with the same sense of tension that Louis wrings his hands together with. “Why-“

“Am I here?” Louis pipes up, his voice straining with lack of confidence and nerves, which Harry can only feel grateful for. While Louis sounds weak, Harry remains weaker. Wobbly at the knees with the sight of Louis, the omega he’s always wanted taking up Harry’s space in all the right ways.

It’s odd that to Harry, the room would normally seem disorderly but in an instant he accepts the messiness of the place when he knows it’s Louis doing. The disorderly that’s entirely in a Louis fashion and the acknowledgement of it has Harry accepting it like everything else that comes with his best friend.

The state of the room is more lived in then when Harry left. It’s the touch of a personal, and homey effect that Harry has never been able to pawn off onto the walls of this apartment. With the state it’s in now, albeit messy and strewn with random objects, it’s warm and everything Harry’s been searching for. Sweaters thrown over book stacks and chairs, while jeans lie in piles are on the floor. The night tables are littered with teacups, mostly consisting of Louis’ favourite that Harry keeps around, though a few of Harry’s usual ones linger beside the others.

Taking in the entirety of the room, Harry stands and tries to hold back the questions itching at his throat, which mainly consistent of various extensions of _‘why’._ Under the same umbrella of why Louis’ seem to have to taken over the space, and why he’s done it four days before he’s supposed to be mated to Liam.

He also tries to formulate questions that coincide with the feeling that’s sat itself smack in the middle of his heart. The feeling that the room –no the entire flat- belongs to a family; like it belongs to a _mated_ pair.

His voice finally reverberates throughout the room, restraining it no longer an option, as he looks at Louis enveloped in everything of his. The duvet along with the clothes and the room have all casted Louis in a shade of his, which sets his alpha in a huge state of contentment, though there’s a more sensible side of him that demands it’s not entirely true.

“What are you doing here Lou?”

Louis frowns at his tone, harsh like he’s inferring that Louis’ not welcome. Harry frowns as well, not able to take it back before Louis eyes go to stare out in the hallway past Harry’s shoulder, shining a bit with the unwelcomed feelings Harry’s created. Harry keeps his gaze on the omega steady, even when Louis’ wavers a few times. It’s hard to ignore the need climb into the bed and take his face into his hands, demand his attention once again. He stays where he is, determined to resist caving to the omega in front of him for once. It doesn’t entirely work, his feet moving on his alpha’s accord. He counts it for a win though when he moves a singular step forward instead of entirely to the bed.

Louis eyes flicker to him for a moment, and for a moment they both seem hopeful. Harry optimistic that Louis wants him closer, while Louis gains confidence with the expression Harry’s face has taken.

“Do you want the long answer or-” Louis’ tries to play around the idea. Trying to phrase it so it seems less life changing than it really is. Like what he’s about to say isn’t going to change their friendship for good.

“Louis-“ Harry breaths out taking the steps back till he’s near the door again overwhelmed with everything that’s hit him since walking into his room. He stays there in an attempt to stop the rattling of his nerves that have sparked hope up his spine. He’s anxious, even more so than the flight home, and he feels sick with it. His alpha making him dizzy with the anticipation like it’s ready to answer the second it’s called. “I just need some kind of answer Lou.”

He turns around and grips the doorframe, so only his back it to Louis. So that it limits what Louis has to see. The restraint not to pounce becoming evident on his face. He’s barely able to stop the alpha that pounds the adrenaline into his system, let alone stop the need to act on it; prepared to leave if he has to, but he stops the second Louis speaks.

“I’m not getting mated anymore.” Louis whispers and Harry has to nearly break the frame in order to stop his instinct to _move._

He turns around slowly to the sight of Louis sat up on his knees, legs no longer covered with the fluffy white of the duvet which only brings down Harry’s walls further. He watches as Louis wrings his hands, left with nothing to cover the evidence of nerves as the sleeves of his shirt are pushed up in an attempt to make his frame look bigger. It’s Harry’s jumper that’s why, deep navy blue that settles itself nicely along Louis’ naturally tan skin, big enough that the length of the sleeves and the frame of it make him look tiny. It’s a typical Louis thing, filling things with his personality rather than his form, anything to make himself seem less vulnerable than he actually is.

The fact that Harry can call it out exactly speaks to his alpha that’s already prepared to pounce. That fact that he knows that Louis, despite drowning in his jumper and everything else of Harry’s, he feels the need to bigger than the situation so he feels less vulnerable brings Harry his wits end.

Even throughout a total of nine years, Louis still reads the same and that has Harry prepared to drop to his knees now and beg. Plead that he’s been ready for every single side of Louis _and_ his omega for nine years. Prove to Louis that even amongst his defenceless moments and his strongest, Harry was prepared to make him feel like he was big enough. That he was ready to make him feel like he was everything, because that’s what mates did. They made each other feel complete.

And that’s all Harry wanted to give, all he wanted to receive.

“What do you mean your not getting mated-?“

“It’s exactly like it sounds Harry.” Louis sounds exasperated, but his expression shows desperation, like he’s pleading. Harry can only image he looks the same. “Liam and I broke it off.”

“Why-“ Harry’s growing desperate, the need for more answers, and the need for action all contradicting and consuming his body.

Louis anger sprouts from his desperation and he throws his arms out to his sides and squints at Harry like he’s oblivious. “Fuck Harry we both know the answer to that.”

“I need to hear it.” Harry answers back, surprised at the steadiness of his voice when he feels damn near hysterical. They’re approaching topics that have gone silent for years and the anticipation is not making the words or the conversation more any easier.

“What?” Louis asks back, entirely rhetorical as he looks at Harry, practically crazed, tears forming in his eyes. “Need to hear, why I broke it off with Liam. Need to hear the fact that I’ve been holed up here ever since the dinner with his parents with the hope you’d be back soon.” Louis voice begins to get frantic as his tears spread down the length of his cheeks and onto the slope of his jaw. Harry feels the way each reason etches itself into his body, all piling up heavily on his rapidly beating heart.

Harry feels his own tears well up, though they aren’t from the hysteria of trying to prove his reasons, but from the seer acknowledgement that this is actually reality. That even after all these years, the elation that settles itself into his core isn’t just that. It’s happiness and the feeling of finally accomplishing your biggest dream. The feeling of being successful with a strong surge of pride and possessiveness, that the boy in his bed- is _finally his_. Elation can’t even cover his euphoria.

He stalks over to the bed, while Louis remains on rattling, and he feels his heart thump heavily with each step that matches double of Louis’ words. The older talking at double his speed like he’s loosing his ability to be rational.

“Do you need to hear that I stayed here, because I finally realized that this was where I belong?” Louis’s practically spitting up the words now, like the panic of acceptance and failure is all luring in his chest, unsure of what Harry’s stepping forward to do. Hush him in refusal or shut him up with acceptance.

Harry sweeps Louis off the bed and kisses him without a second thought.

Louis lets himself be pulled off the bed and into Harry’s arms, hands finding purchase at the nape of Harry’s neck, while his fingers dig in and pull. His body racks on a sob and his lips press against Harry’s with care. Harry feels much the same as he moves his hands across as much as Louis as he can. When Harry pulls away from the chaste kiss he lets out a sob himself, which turns into a laugh as he allows a smile to appear while he shakes his head and grips Louis tighter against his chest. Both arms winding around Louis waist to bring him closer and completely off the floor, enough that his head surpasses Harry’s by an inch. Louis combs back Harry’s curls with one hand while he digs his hand into Harry’s back as reassurance, and smiles, watery and happy as he does.

Harry presses a kiss to Louis’ collarbone and hugs him tight, petting his hand against the small of Louis’ back, shaky beyond belief; unsure if this is actually reality. “This is where you belong.” Harry whispers out, reassuring what Louis had been spouting on about a few minutes before.

Louis nods his head, chest shaky where Harry lays his head, the alpha’s nose skimming across his neck in delicate and intimate patterns that have Louis clinging to his shoulders even harder. “Think I’ve known that for a little while.”

Harry laughs softly into his neck pressing more feathered kisses against his skin there. He’s practically drunk off Louis scent, so potent from his mating mark where Harry’s ensured to scent about, though the delicious scent radiates from everywhere. There’s the smallest hint of Harry’s scent there as well which only pleases him more, and aids him into staying there longer, though he responds to Louis without a need to think.  “I’ve known that for seven years.”

Louis swats his shoulder, but ends up rubbing the same spot anyway in consolation. Hands run through Harry’s hair and the feeling of restraint seems to have disappeared from Harry’s body in years. Alpha no longer seething with the need to lock down his omega. No longer concerned with remaining restraint in his attitudes or intentions to Louis.

It’s relieving and Harry hasn’t felt that sense of respite in a while. An added benefit is definitely the boy in his arms that holds onto him just as dearly as Harry does. Harry can’t help but express is as he nuzzles his nose into Louis skin even more.

“You’re mine.” Harry breathes out the secret like he’s been meaning to for years. Dragging it and dusting it off the shelf it’s been sitting on for seven years.

Louis lip wobbles, while he squirms till Harry lets his feet touch the ground against and finds himself tucking his face into Harry’s neck. For once Louis omega doesn’t stand its ground and demand it’s degrading. He doesn’t see the need to mention that being someone’s property, especially an alpha’s, was not his job in life, because it didn’t feel derogatory. Didn’t feel like being claimed was the same as being chained down and restricted. His walls don’t go up in defence, though they do the complete opposite and melt away with the implication of what Harry’s said. For once Louis feels claimed and not in the way that sets his nerves on edge.

It’s everything he’s ever wanted.

“You’re mine too.” Louis whispers against Harry’s neck, pressing a kiss there before pulling away and looking the younger straight in the eye. Louis surprised at what he finds there, Harry’s irises practically radiating with warmth. Harry’s eyes are jade with happiness, bright and sure as he looks at Louis like he’s a dream. Louis can only imagine what he looks like when his entire body is buzzing with the euphoria. He can’t help the way his smile stretches across his lips into a toothy grin, enough that it makes his eyes crinkle with the sheer grandness of it.

“We’re each others.” Louis whispers against Harry’s lips, just before he presses their faces together in something less chaste then their (second) first kiss.

 


	2. your heart knows what your head cannot explain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning for the beginning of this chapter. It includes underage Louis and Harry in a minor sex scene. If that's an issue for you, please do not read it. You'll be able to conclude what happened there in the rest of the chapter, or in chapters to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been forever, I know. Nearly a year since I posted this story, and going on seven months since I've posted at all. I've been struggling a lot to write. It's not been easy the past few months or even the past year to write as I used to. I apologize for that, but I truly do hope the wait is worth it. I hope you enjoy my writing as much as I love doing it. 
> 
> This part is significantly shorter than the first, but I'm happy with what I've written in this chapter. It's what I think is worthy of being posted. Thank you so much if you've sticked with this story, and I'm so sorry for wait. Hopefully you like it!

" _There are years that ask questions,_

 

_And years that answer."_

 

**_Zora Neale Hurston_ **

  
  
  


** 

There have been plenty of moments in their friendship where Harry’s felt like things are just waiting to fall into place.

It’s probably why, even after several years and countless times where he figured he should call it quits he didn’t. Simply for the fact that were a handful of moments where thing seemed to fit together like jigsaw pieces. Like those few moments were monumental to the point where it was going to lead up to a beautiful picture of their future together.

The first piece, Harry figures, appeared when Louis was fifteen.

It was the usual presenting age, like it had been for generations. The weeks before and the weeks after his fifteenth birthday Louis had been nothing but adamant on the subject of what he was going to present as. It had been a mix of hype and excitement, which brought Louis the edge for nearly two months, just simply with the anticipation. But even amongst the excitement that came with presenting, the first piece of becoming an adult, Louis was also plagued with a disgusting mix of nerves.

The anxiety that stemmed greater and greater each day for Louis was that many were relying on him becoming alpha. Louis himself had been too, but with the poorly masked expectations that Louis’ gender would stem from the highest part of the hierarchy from everyone left the boy with pressure he found difficult to deal with.

The tension of not knowing where he stood in the hierarchy of genders was difficult and the waiting period made it worse, so it was almost a relief when the waiting was over. But what they had waited for was most indefinitely a shock to everyone that anticipated Louis being alpha.

To everyone that knew of Louis, even simply by name, knew that the Tomlinson boy was brash and over the top, the picture perfect fit for that of an alpha. His out going tendencies and athletic involvements in school lead everyone to that conclusion. But those conclusions had been drawn upon with traditional senses in mind.

Which is why, of course, pushy, mischievous, loud Louis Tomlinson presenting as omega was a shock to everyone.

For a while the shock that Louis, the most predicted upon to become alpha, presented as omega, was the largest rumour in school. Harry remembers because for a solid two months, straight on into April Louis had worn a constant grimace or glare for the consistent talks of all the people in the halls.

In the confusing times of being told his gender and the way to act with it, and the natural loudness of his personality Louis had trouble finding the correct balance of how to act in school. For those two months Harry can count on two hands the amount of times Louis actually snapped back into his usual personality with rude comments when the teasing became too much. But for the most part, Harry remembers a docile Louis that allowed the comments thrown his way, simply because their school was traditional and Louis very obviously didn’t know where he sat as an omega with modern views.

Which was why Harry had been the first to tell Louis it would be okay to stick it to those who told him he shouldn’t simply because of his omega status.

In the following months till summer, Harry found himself helping Louis with the dynamics and ideals of omega around every rough turn or ledge. It wasn’t easy being newly presented and going to a strictly traditional school. But as the weeks wore on and Louis found his footing again, much to many people's relief (mainly Harry’s) Louis was back to his typical ways, which mainly started with telling everyone off.

It had been directly and largely to those who spread nasty words about him by lockers and gym bleachers. Louis going off in a typical Louis fashion, which was not so kindly or in such nicer actions, telling everyone to fuck right off before he had continued on with his day.

Louis slowly filled back into himself, though it wasn’t without incident. Harry receiving calls every few nights that would cast Louis in a self-conscious light. It was those nights that Harry would stay over at Louis or those calls that allowed Harry to form himself into the person Louis need the most. Those moments created the exact fit of pieces that allowed Louis and Harry to fall together without issue. The two perfect puzzle pieces moulded for each other in the dark hours filled with reassurance and comfort.

In the weeks that drew closer to Louis sixteenth birthday, and Harry’s fifteenth, Harry found himself loaded with similar fears of what Louis had experience with presenting. The stress of presenting into a certain gender was never there for Harry. He had never been concerned, seeing as he grew up in a modern household made up entirely of betas who saw things in equal terms and not hierarchies.

Harry’s stress came from his own doing, fussing over problems that weren’t even there. The words that lingered about what he would present as and why. Determining that he’d be the usual same beta hurt less than when people simply choose to say he’d been omega for the fact that he wasn’t strong enough to be alpha.

Harry ignored it the same way Louis ignored the fuss about the genders. They did it through each other, growing closer through nights when they couldn’t go out because there was a new big rumour about Louis sleeping around simply because he was omega, or another jab at what gender Harry would truly fit into. The conversations of the close minded people often left them inside on weekends instead of out with friends because with the way people talked behind their backs they didn’t have many other people to rely on.

Just when a hush seemed to cast itself over the topic of Louis and Harry’s genders, Harry presented.

The quiet had simply happened because no one presented as quickly as Harry did. The hush had settled within the town simply because they all thought it was going to be a while before Harry had presented, like everyone usually did. People saving up their gossip for when something truly happened. Everyone had assumed it’d be at least a few weeks before anything showed through enough to determine his gender, though it appeared they had all been wrong.

And so the second piece fell in next to the first, when Harry had presented as alpha.

Harry presenting had not only been a surprise to everyone but a questionable one at that. When word had gotten out that Harry had presented as alpha, much to the surprise of his beta family, many people were concerned that he wouldn’t live up to the title of the highest seat in the hierarchy.

Harry recalls not even caring about the chain of command, just simply being happy because he presented as _alpha_. And certainly the way he got to present was certainly nothing to complain about.

The fact that they never told anyone about it, something that Harry had figured was shame on Louis’ part, did nothing to stop the fact that it was one of his greatest memories. Definitely one he stored away for whenever he was in rut or particularly desperate.

At the beginning of it all, Harry could only register pain. Waking up from his birthday where he had been allowed a single glass of wine to celebrate the important occasion, Harry had figured it had been the rumoured signs of a hangover. But when the pains starting spreading farther than just his temples, he began to question what truly had his body miserable.

Harry had been in a massive amount of pain to the point where, melodramatically, he had figured he was dying. It was his simplest conclusion when he ruled out a hangover, and considering no one _ever_ presented the day after his or her fifteenth birthday, Harry had gotten a bit dramatic.

He still considers it a bit reasonable, considering the painful tugging that had spread all throughout his body. The painful ebbing had spread across his chest, enough that it constricted his lungs and made him heave with the exertion of it. The heat had settled down from his flushed cheeks and down his neck into each of his pecks. Even moving as far as his gut, which clenched with the unfamiliar feeling while his arms became achy with it. Embarrassingly so the feeling of heat spread heavily into his groin enough to have his dick stiff and sore, enough that he had to curl into a ball most of the time.

When there had been several pounding knocks on their door, Harry had been woken up. His mum having left to go to work while his sister was at a friend’s. He was thankful that they weren’t here to witness him in such an incredibly awkward situation, but when the knocking continued he wished they had been, just simply so he didn’t have to move and create greater pain for his muscles.

Harry had hobbled his way out to the door. Feeling faint and huffing through each step. Harry had cringed himself into a hunched mess by the time he got to the door. He had practically snarled when he opened the door, feeling annoyed and irritated, only to spot Louis. And the second he did, all he could do is growl.

He recalls distinctly the way Louis had smelled like everything he ever wanted. The full wave of omega scent to his newly accustomed alpha nose had been heavy and enough to make him lunge towards Louis. He had pulled him in the house and boarded him against the wall, just to focus on the scent that radiated from his best friend as Harry tried to ignore the pulsing that increased all over his body. Like Louis was the relief he had been looking for all day.

Louis had looked at him in shock and Harry matched that. Unsure as to why his body was thrumming with the fact Louis was practically in his arms. He didn’t understand his possessive grip that seemed to increase the more he scented Louis, hands coiling tighter against where they were curled against Louis’ hips with the simple way Louis was looking at him. He met the stare and with a massive surge of approval Harry hadn’t had much more time to do anything else, but plaster himself to Louis before the less sensible part of his mind kicked in, - which he later realized had been his alpha.

It seemed pressing their chests together and Harry burying his nose against Louis’ neck was enough to snap Louis out of it. Though the snapping was more of a failed catapult that still left Louis at the mercy of Harry’s newly acquired scent. The more Harry became coiled around Louis, the more Louis seemed to realize. Harry recalls Louis shoving his head away from his neck and the beautiful scent, to glare at him.

“For god’s sake Harry, of all the times.” Louis had complained, attempting to pull away, though Harry just simply continued to press in closer. Louis had shaken his head, tipping it to the side when Harry’s gaze had become too intense. Harry fought to look back where the part of Louis’ neck was wet with his saliva, but the older resisted enough to make Harry respond.

“What?” Harry had been incredibly confused, still trying to seek out the spot he had been plastered to before, mouth hanging open in anticipation while his body continued to cage Louis further into the wall.

Before Louis could answer, Harry was moving Louis up enough till his toes were barely on the floor, grasping at his thighs and hoisting him up with newfound strength. Louis clung to Harry without a second thought as all the tension seeped out of his body. His slack allowed Harry to spread Louis hips far enough to invite himself in, while in the same breath he was taking Louis’ neck back with his lips.

Louis groaned in exasperation as he pulled against Harry’s hair. “You’re fucking presenting as alpha.” Louis’ had rolled his head back even further and the new expansion allowed Harry to trail his mouth further.  Harry naively ran his teeth, small and still not fully-grown, across an omega’s most sensitive spot making Louis yank on Harry’s head while simultaneously trying to jostle him away from his neck.

“Fucks sake, don’t do that.” Louis practically yelped, entirely out of his depth when Harry growled lowly at him, determined even more so to work his mouth where he wasn’t allowed. Harry wasn’t in the mood to be denied and Louis groaned with the inconvenience, though he grasped Harry’s biceps, calling forward his attention just the slightest bit.

When Louis began to, embarrassingly rock his hips down to meet Harry’s it was done innocently and without much finesse, much to the confusion of Harry. Louis closed his eyes craning his head up towards the ceiling, feeling the telltale slide of his arse cheeks from slick starting faster than it usually did. The better rhythm Louis built up the less confused Harry seemed to get, catching on quicker when Louis slid his hands down to Harry’s hips- encouraging.

They rocked without preamble, Harry’s hips thrusting and grinding into Louis without much thought, while Louis glared at the ceiling adamant to ignore his pleasure. It was difficult, especially when Harry shifted him higher creating friction in very different places. Louis had whimpered at that, knowing that if they had been naked Harry would be in him flooding his brain while Harry moved his mouth towards Louis’ ear, whining in confusion, embarrassment and pleasure.

“Louis.” It had been a silent question, and even amidst all the embarrassment, of their rocking hips, Harry was glad that Louis knew what he was asking.

Harry was surprised when Louis hand came to gently caress his cheek, holding with enough care that Harry turned his face into it, pressing a kiss to the centre of it.

“You have to- god.” Harry had been surprised, snapping out of his alpha induced haze when Louis pulled his head forward and rested their foreheads together. “You have to pop your first knot.”

Harry’s hips had stuttered forward subconsciously at the mention of a knot, and Louis had encouraged it, nudging their noses together while Harry remained grinding against Louis. Pushing Louis’ body apart and together with each of his movements. Working his hips while moving Louis’ apart, only for the older boy to attempt to close them, caving into himself with the pleasure of Harry grinding against his most intimate spot.

Harry continued his pace, thrusting and grinding, getting more desperate with each one. Thrusting harder, grinding more with each passing moment, the closer he got. His dick started to throb and with on last harsh thrust, Harry had pushed himself against Louis, grinding up with a shout of the older’s name as he knotted for the first time.

He felt tied to Louis, watching within an millimetres of space the surprised expression that etched itself along Louis features and Harry continued to grind against him, grunting and holding Louis tighter each second. Harry watched as Louis’ own face became frantic and he began to cry while whimpering as he came close.

Harry lost his inhibition as he leaned forward and captured Louis’ lips when he finally cried out. As he kissed Louis he felt Louis squirm against him in pleasure as his body sagged with the release. All the while Louis hands cradled Harry’s cheeks and moaned into his mouth, tears rubbing off of Louis’ cheek and onto Harry’s, overwhelmed.

When Harry pulled back, rubbing circles into Louis’ cheekbone the older had began crying harder, fitting himself closer to Harry as he shifted uncomfortably in his wet pants. The movement was enough to shift against Harry’s hips reminding Harry of his own soaked briefs. When he looked down the sure amount of come that was there showed in the way it had seeped through and darkened the grey fabric of his briefs and soaked into Louis’ sweats as well.

Without thinking Harry had carried them upstairs. Holding Louis closely, hands digging into the meat of Louis’ thighs while he climbed the stairs. Louis had slumped himself into Harry’s form, wobbly but clinging to Harry all the same. When they reached his room Harry hesitated to put Louis down, both of them feeling it when Harry’s chest rumbled with the alpha’s defiance.

Louis stroked Harry’s hair, running one hand through his hair calmly while the other worked across the planes of his back. The grip that had become possessive loosened and he slowly let Louis’ feet fall to the floor. They stared at each other, silent and unsure of what else to say, before Harry awkwardly gestured over his shoulder and to the bathroom.

“Got to clean up.” He whispered out, watching as Louis nodded his head, eyes casting down to his feet, still covered in his ratty old converse. Harry takes two steps over to the door, before thinking better of it. Or rather, more accurately swinging back around simply on the will of want, to grab Louis’ face between his hands and kiss him once more.

Louis leaned into his body, grabbing his wrists and holding on strongly as he kissed back. He had smiled weakly when Harry pulled back with a grin, Harry laughing before he sauntered away and into the bathroom to clean up. He cleaned with preamble, wincing when the pain returned with strong pulses. He cleaned himself gently, taking note of the bulge against the base of his cock, cringing as he worked a wet cloth over his crotch. When he pulled the material of his pants on he clenched his teeth when the fabric felt rough. And when he waddled to the room, gently cradling his crotch, it was to an empty room, still lingering with Louis’ scent.

Harry had spent the rest of his time presenting berating himself for going so far. The kissing and the grinding and the knotting against Louis body all played back in his head with pleasure with a heavy mix of regret that carried him through each knot he popped. He criticized himself for not noticing the weak smile and the halted movements of Louis after everything that happened. Hated the fact that he had continued on like an idiot, a sex crazed alpha. That in the few hours he had presented as alpha, he had only succeeded in using an omega’s body for his own purpose.

Harry figures that’s the moment he vowed to never be the traditional alpha that used an omega in ways only beneficial for him. He also figures that’s when he vowed to be anything and everything Louis would ever need in an alpha.

                                                    **

As Louis trudges up the stairs to the flat, he’s seriously questioning if Harry’s ever going to court him.

It’s been the kind of week where he just wants to come home to an alpha, but more specifically to Harry. In the entirety of this week, two omegas he works with got courted, while another omega and alpha he works with had their ceremonies. Hearing about it in between locker rooms and offices and lunchrooms was enough to make Louis’ chest ache with the want to have the same thing. He’s over answering all the questions about the alpha he used to be with and ready to announce that he’s finally with the right one. His mouth nearly slips with his want to brag about his own, newly acquired happy ending, but he snatches his bottom lip every time when he remembers their love isn’t quite sealed in a way that has intentions.

His wonder and daydream, is often the only thing that gets him through the torment of his new boss. The man, overly burly and stoic was a traditional alpha, forcing task upon test onto Louis like he had any right to. Louis’ reputation, relations and list of clients were more than enough to prove his worth, but the man refused to acknowledge it. The entire week had consisted of problematic deals that Louis barely managed to keep within the company, grazing through the week just teetering on the edge.

The entire week was in shambles and yet simply, Louis still found comfort in his want and need to come home to his alpha. Well, hopefully his alpha.

His oxfords scratch against the worn linoleum tiredly as he shuffles up to the doormat, wiping his feet idly as he fumbles for his keys. The key turns and opens the door just when Louis figures his arms are going to give from the heavy paperweight he’s carrying. His arms sag with relief as the pile of contracts and plans are dumped onto the entry way table, Louis sighing as he wiggles the key out of the door and into the dish near his papers.

The flat is oddly quiet, ringing with stillness, that Louis wonders if maybe Harry got pulled into a late shift as he toes off his shoes, foot moving to line them up near Harry’s before he’s off padding into the living room. He walks further into the flat, rubbing gingerly at his forearms that ache a little with the weight he’s just carried. His gaze shifts back to where Harry’s key’s sit in the bowl beside his and again he’s reminded of how oddly quiet it is in the flat.

“Harry?” The call falls dead against his tongue when he finally reaches the living room only to find Harry standing there, sheepish, surrounded by strung lights with an endless row of pictures, framed behind his head.

Louis’ lungs collapse in a second, hands going to clutch at his chest like the weight of them will stop his frantic heart. He watches, anxiously as Harry shifts his feet nervously, toes pigeoning in even more than usual as he coughs lightly into his fist. He’s dressed nice, new black jeans on, cream blouse covered by one of his black blazers. He’s fancy and Louis immediately feels underdressed in his worn out jeans and graphic t-shirt, enough that he shrugs his blazer back on. Louis feels paralyzed and ready to fly all at once, so caught up in the upcoming moments that he doesn’t adhere to the present. Harry waves him over, or rather attempts to but still Louis remains dazed and in a fairy tale, because honestly _this cannot be happening._

“Love.” Harry chimes in softly, beckoning Louis once more with a soft smile. Louis follows, eyes barely moving from the framed pictures behind Harry’s head. His eyes water without permission the second he comes close enough to make sense of what the frames contain.

It’s a timeline.

Each step he takes feels lead heavy and unsure, feet wobbly while his heart is beating strong, absolute tunnel vision as the air envelops him in happiness. He lets out a small sob, overwhelmed, as his feet and hands comes tip and toe to Harry’s. He finds himself being pulled into the alpha’s welcoming embrace as their hands cling and wring together tightly. Soon enough there’s solid contact of a steady body against his, soothing Louis’ entire nerve endings even as his brain reels. Harry holds him close and Louis clings just as tightly, feeling lips press against his forehead before he’s being turned around in Harry’s arms.

They’re facing the frames, matte black filled with memories from the very start. It’s moments of silence and just staring before Louis registers his tears, He feels Harry’s arms wrap tighter across his waist and he clings to them, squeezing and not bothering to wipe away the salty tears that trickle down his cheeks. He leans back into Harry’s chest relaxing in the same instant that Harry nuzzles into his cheek.

“We met when I was thirteen and you were fifteen. It was hard being younger than you, you were so damn intimidating Lou, but god-” He raises his hand and points to the first picture in the framed photoset. It’s them, distracted and unaware they’re being photographed, which probably accounts for how close they are in the picture, Harry’s legs practically in Louis’ lap. “This is the first picture our mums snuck of us, a couple weeks after we met. I knew after fourteen days Lou, that I always wanted to be around you.”

 

Louis bows his head, while his hands fumble to hold more of Harry. He ends up winding an arm to hold against Harry’s neck, while he knots his fingers through Harry’s against his belly button. He stays there, falling into the comfort of Harry’s chest against his back, as Harry points to the next three photos. “These were all taken after you presented. It was after that, that I’d realized I wanted to be around you to protect you and give you the comfort you would want or need. I kinda always felt like you presenting was a turning point, but little fourteen year old me didn’t realize what that meant.”

Louis sniffles and nods where his head still rests contentedly against Harry’s shoulder. He’s overwhelmed that Harry was able to even find pictures of them after he presented. The label of an omega, and by relation the idea of being a lesser person, made Louis a shell of himself for a significant amount of time after he presented. The shell included protection from anything that documented his new title, more specifically pictures. Louis remembers being sixteen and overly filled with hormones and anger, hiding from anything that showed his delicate _omega_ features. Hated anything that documented it.

“It was hard to find ones after I presented that made us look like friends, considering it was an awkward time.” Louis snorts and nods his head, lulling into the sound of Harry’s own laugh rumbling in his ear.

“That’s a bit of an understatement.” Louis chuckles, shaking his head fondly. He can practically hear the smile in Harry’s voice when he begins to talk next, doesn’t even have to turn and look to know, it’s the fond smile saved specifically for him.

“We never really talked about what that day did for us, but for me, that’s when everything changed. Not just ‘cause we got off together, but because my _alpha_ finally came through and helped me make sense of all the reasons I wanted to be around you.”

Louis grins at the admission and watches as Harry points to the third frame that begins to really show the progression of years. Each different frame comes with a different explanation and an entirely new wave of nostalgia and love that crash against both their hearts, making them beat that much stronger. Louis finds himself indulging in the comfort of Harry’s embrace and the wistfulness that comes from looking at pictures he hasn’t seen in years. There’s a grand mixture and Louis can’t help but think they are all significant even if at the time the pictures had been taken, he has rendered them embarrassing or pointless. As he finds himself pulling Harry in even more, Louis looks at the frames that show them throughout sixth form, grown into themselves and attached at the hip. He takes them all in; the awkward naive pictures to the mature and happy ones, unable to stop the clench in his gut and the prickling behind his eyes as he takes in the way they grew together. The way they grew _for_ each other.

By the time Harry’s moved onto the fourth frame, his appreciation and adoration for the guy that has put together nothing short of a perfect and memorable night, grows. Palpitating stronger with each word that escapes Harry’s mouth.

“This picture was taken just after I finished sixth form, pretty much a few seconds after I had shied away from asking you out.” Harry admits in Louis ear, a coy smile on his lips as he hears Louis gasp at the admission.

“No way.” Louis gasps, an unbelieving smile stretching across his face.

Harry nods, as he hears Louis’ small bout of laughter bounce around the room. “I did, was probably the third time that month. That was the one time I figured that the timing was okay. That we were just starting new, and we could be together, but I always nearly got sick when I went to ask you.”

Louis laugh resonates louder as Harry explains the last few in the frame from them in their couple shared years at uni, before his attention is snagged when Harry comes to the absolutely blank fifth frame. Louis feels himself get anxious again as Harry lets out a slow breath against his cheek like this is what he had been readying for the entire night. Knowing Harry, it probably is.

Louis finds his hand being squeezed as Harry begins talking once more. “All throughout these years, you have been the only constant for me. You helped me grow into the person I am and the alpha I always wanted to be. All these pictures show exactly how important you are to me. Every single one of these frames holds a reason or an exact picture of how I always want to be when I’m with you. I want to have fun like we did when we were kids, but I also want to give you comfort when you go through tough times and I want to be the kind of person, the kind of _alpha_ that will always be smart enough and grow enough for you.”

Louis slowly lets go of all the parts of Harry he’s holding onto when he gets the hint that he’s wanted in a different position. He turns anxiously, heart in his throat only to find calming and earnest green eyes on the other side. He stares into Harry’s eyes without question as the alpha brings him back in, chest to chest this time and much more intimate. Louis places his hands shakily against the expanse of Harry’s chest and is instantly met with steady fluttering of his heart. “This empty frame is going to hold the picture of what I want with you, what I will _always_ want with you. It’s going to show our love and compassion for each other but more importantly the promise I want to give you.”

Louis is surprised at the low grumble that comes from Harry’s mouth, making his entire body pulse in anticipation. They’re suspended in the moment and the anxious wave that flows through each of their veins. Louis relishes in the hold he’s in, comforted and eased from the whirlpool of emotion he’s felt ignite in him from the very moment he saw Harry when he came home. His moment of comfort slows the ebb of excitement that comes with his anticipation, but it halts as Harry slowly brings his hands around from Louis’ waist. They come up to cover Louis’ hands that rest against Harry’s chest. As Louis’ hands are pulled away, Harry begins to kneel, and instantly Louis feels like fainting.

“Lou,” Harry begins his own voice shaking as his hands hold tighter to Louis’. “After all these years of never thinking it was the right time or place, I honestly don’t give a damn anymore. I’m just ready to make you mine. You’ve quite literally always been it for me. I knew it when I was fourteen and I know it, more than _ever,_ at twenty-three. It’s been nine goddamn years Louis, but finally I’m asking if you’ll be mine.”

Harry swallows, reaching into his blazer pocket with one hand to produce a smooth black box that has Louis very close to crumbling. Louis can do nothing but let his tears roll onto his cheeks that are pulled wide enough that his dimples make an appearance, he settles his hands against his chest, as Harry takes his other hand away to open the box towards him.

He hiccups out a giggle that has a tail end of a sob, as Harry himself begins to tear up. Harry grabs his hand once more, the _left_ one, and looks back at Louis once more, beyond sincere and overwhelmed.

That made two of them.

“We’re both finally ready after all the awkward phases, missed opportunities and other people; we’re finally getting it right. So Lou -after all these years- I’m finally asking. Will you make me the luckiest alpha alive, and please be _my_ omega.” Harry asks, smiling entirely too watery at Louis.

It’s with absolutely no hesitation that Louis hiccups out, “Yes.”

Harry’s head bows, a heartfelt laugh falling from his lips. He shakes his head and stands with a beaming smile, but Louis only catches a glimpse of it before he’s being kissed.

Harry takes greedily and rightfully from _his_ omega who takes just as much as he gives. Louis pulls back panting, still gripping heavily onto the front of Harry’s blazer, as he demands for his ring, smile nearly breaking his face.

“Put it on me already Styles.” Louis insists once again, peeling away his hand from Harry to thrust it forward in the space between them, eagerly awaiting his ring. Harry grabs the silver band out of the box without a second thought, gingerly taking Louis’ hand and sliding the band on.

Louis admired it, pressed up against Harry’s chest while the alpha, _his alpha_ , practically smothers him against his chest. The slim band shines just the right amount in the dim light that the white gold is cast in a rose hued shimmer. The width is small enough to look dainty on Louis’ finger, but he definitely doesn’t mind. It sits perfectly along his tanned finger, sticking out as a recent addition to himself. Just as he’s prepared to move his gaze away from the band, Harry’s hand is engulfing his, thumb running over the band in a careful way, in awe that the ring he’s been waiting to give Louis is finally on his finger.

“God-“ Harry gasps, looking at Louis in a daze, thumb working rhythmically over the band as he shakes his head, silly with how happy he is. “We’re engaged. I finally fucking courted you.”

Louis giggles into Harry’s mouth, breaking off into a whimper when Harry hoists him up, large hands grasping at his thighs, desperately, before placing them on the subtle juts of Harry’s hip bones. Louis gets lost in the feeling of Harry’s lips on his, mouth open and reckless against Harry’s tongue as his back meets the wall. He’s nearly embedded into the wall as his legs tighten around Harry’s waist, dragging him in more desperately than before. They’re just barely settled before Harry’s rutting up into the cradle of Louis’ hips.

Louis startles, head falling back against the wall as he’s pressed into heavily. His hips gyrate down on their own accord, working Harry into even more of a frenzy as he fumbles to grip at anything that will ground him. His hands end up wound in Harry’s hair, running through the strands as he’s caged in. The alpha gains courage and momentum as he listens to the groans and whimpers of Louis’, spurred on even further as he listens to Louis moan his name as he fumbled wet kisses onto the expanse of his neck. Harry feels himself getting dragged away, almost protesting until he gets a sightful of Louis’ face.

He looks lustful and overwhelmed in all the right ways. Needing Harry, but also needing to speak, desperate to get his words out. Harry resists the urge to make the decision for Louis, resists the temptation that comes with looking down at Louis’ lips, already red and supple, evidence enough of how thorough they’ve both been in their kisses.

Gentle and shakily, Louis releases his grip on the soft tendrils of curls he had been holding, in favour of bringing his hands up to frame Harry’s face. If Harry didn’t know better he would assume the feather light touches he feels along his cheeks would be from precaution, but looking at Louis’ face all he can see in admiration and fondness.

Smiling back at Louis, Harry jostles the boy so he sits higher on his hips, enough that he can release the grip he has one of Louis’ thighs. Just like Louis’, Harry cups the side of his boys face with nothing but tenderness, a loving look gracing both their faces. “You happy?” Harry asks softly, thumbing at the soft jut of Louis’ cheekbone as he kisses Louis graciously.

Louis’ grips heartily into the curve of Harry’s jaw, pulling him in and opening his mouth against Harry’s prodding tongue. They kiss longingly and full of fondness, Louis groaning as Harry cradles his face more firmly in his palm, working his tongue in steadily against Louis’ own. Louis groans into Harry’s mouth, suckling at the tongue that works its way into his mouth. Harry moans back in appreciation, rhythmically grasping at Louis’ thigh as he kisses Louis breathless.  

He whines on a particularly well aimed thrust, one that has him leaking slick ten fold, and his dick aching for release. He can tell Harry can smell the scent of his slick, can probably feel it at this point too, from the determined set of Harry’s shoulders as he takes in a deep lungful.

Harry whines to himself, desperate for the scent that his omega gives. He finds himself burrying nose first into the crook of Louis’ neck that is generously offered to him. It’s heavenly and the only place he ever wants to be; basking in the scent of his aroused soon to be mate. He only burrows further when he hears confirmation to his early question.

Louis got his entire being surrounded by the heady, head spinning scent of his alpha. He can almost taste Harry’s knot from the pungent scent in the air and his entire body aches for what’s still trapped in Harry’s pants. Nevertheless he still feels the need to be coherent enough to answer his alpha’s question, taking away the space for any doubt between the two of them.

“Of course I’m happy.” Louis moans out, gasping as he feels Harry nip harshly at his neck, though the alpha lets out of his own whines, clearly pleased with the pleasure he’s provided his new courtship. There’s a distinct rumble in Harry’s chest too that lets Louis’ know he’s not only reached Harry but his alpha as well.

Louis smiles, only for a brief moment before his face is thrown back into a mix of pleasure as he feels Harry’s hips circle and thrust against his, more adamant and closer to release by the second. Harry grunts, working his hips harder following the desperate moans of pleasure and encouragement he gets from Louis. The sounds and smell he’s generously given by Louis only encourages and enthralls the alpha that tears it’s way through Harry’s self control. He finds his adrenaline pumping and his entire body working harder and faster than before, alpha brought to the surface by the single being in front of him. His second nature pushing him to work more adamantly, just solely for the pleasure of the omega, debauched in his arms.

The alpha settles at the constant stream of whines that fall from Louis’ mouth. Hips still pushing into the v of Louis’ to work them both to the edge. He aims rolling thrusts into the cradle of Louis’ hips, while his mouth marks up every bit of skin he’s given. Roughly, Louis grips into Harry’s hair when he feels a particularly hard nip against his neck, while one large hand works it way to the seam that runs between his two arse cheeks.

Louis’ entire body nearly collapses onto the floor when he feels Harry’s insistent fingers strain against the jean fabric of his pants to push against his leaking and needy hole. He vaguely hears Harry swear before he’s being readjusted. He’s hoisted up so one of Harry’s arms can clip underneath his leg while still reaching back to his arse, while the other goes to hold him leg in place against the jut of Harry’s hip.

It’s like Louis’ body sings for the tortuous pleasure, because not seconds after his limbs are placed different does he feel Harry’s fingers back at his hole, running over the sopping jean fabric, and pressing in against his sensitive area. His entire body practically breaks with the pleasure, the heavenly feeling that comes from the pressure of Harry’s fingers against where he needs it most. Louis very nearly works a hand down to press against his rigid cock, but Harry’s there before he can make it. It’s crazy and entirely perfect that all Harry has to do is look at Louis and know exactly what he needs.

Louis finds his body convulsing when Harry ruts up just right to give Louis the friction he needs. His cock pulses with the contact while his hole contracts needily around the fingers Harry teases against it. It exactly what Louis needs to _come_.

Harry doesn’t have to even ask, before he’s working his fingers more rigorously against Louis’ hole while his hips drive up towards Louis’.  The wanton moans and whimpers Louis’ lets go, only encourages Harry to work harder. Fingers and hips working in sync till he feels Louis still in his arms, choking on a moan, hips stuttering as he comes.

Louis sags forward and whimpers into Harry’s neck, hips still circle against Harry’s, finishing himself off as Harry pants heavily into his ear. When he finally stills, Louis doesn’t have to pull back to know Harry’s biting his lip, brows probably furrowed as he tries to hold off. The omega very nearly scoffs as he tilts his head up enough to catch the lobe of Harry’s ear, latching on and pulling harshly.

“Going to pop your knot alpha?”

The moment the words flow from Louis’ mouth, Harry starts up again, like it was permission. Louis folds himself in closer to the alpha, hugging him closely with his legs, ignoring the uncomfortable wetness in his pants as he feels Harry exhale heavily against his temple while his hands squeeze generously at Louis’ ass.

Louis nips at the alpha’s neck, relishing in the huffed breaths that fall into his hair as Harry shudders and falls in even closer, nearly smothering Louis into the wall. He continues his path across the alpha’s neck, kissing and sucking particularly hard against Harry’s adam apple and the hinge of his jaw as his hips rotate quicker against Louis’, searching for release.

He gets it ultimately, Louis’ tongue not only working sinfully against his skin but whispering dirty things in his ear too. Harry gets lost in it, the words that spill from his omega’s mouth simply draw up the filthiest of pictures, mostly of them together, of _their future_ , and Harry can do nothing but crumble.

Louis’ pulls back in enough time to see Harry’s face, twisted and blissful as he knots. The alpha’s teeth are sealed over his bottom lip, tugging on it enough to turn it white. Never one to resist, Louis’ leans in and takes the lip for himself, smirking when Harry lets out a weak moan.

Moments pass, and Louis’ still finds himself pinned against the wall, Harry’s head having fallen to his shoulder as they wait. Louis lets out a chuckle when Harry lets out a small moan, body twitching and tensing as his hips stutter forward.

“God.” Louis whispers, hands scratching at Harry’s scalp. “This feels a lot different than when you were fifteen.”

He feels Harry snort against his neck, breath hitting his neck and making it tacky with warmth, before Harry pulls back and looks at him, amused. “I would hope so.” His smile is still so endeared. “Grown since then.”

A cocky smirk overtakes his fond and Louis’ very nearly rolls his eyes. Actually he does, because Harry rolls his hips up to prove his point. Arching his brow Louis gives him a look, overly amused at the alpha’s actions. “Would have hoped so.” Louis giggles, palming a hand against Harry’s cheek. “Definitely wouldn’t have said yes if you didn’t measure up.”

Harry shakes his head, smiling at Louis. “How would you have known.” He questions, voice teasing. “I was quite sure I wasn’t a bragging type.”

“You didn’t have to be.” Louis laughs, hands running along Harry’s shoulders. “You’ve got a big enough bulge to do you justice.”

Harry has the decency to look humbled, though there’s still a proud puff to his chest. He slowly releases the hard grip he has on Louis’ body, though his alpha whines at the movements. He delicately let's Louis’ feet touch the floor, lithe legs slipping off his hips slowly and with a sluggish movement. Louis’ feet reach the ground but just barely, arms wrapping around Harry’s neck and clinging just enough that he needs to be on the tips of his toes.

Endeared, Harry shakes his head, gripping into the dip of Louis’ waist and travelling his hands down till they meet hip bones. Louis sighs and leans in to press a chaste kiss against Harry’s lips, mumbling against them as he does.

“Take me to bed.”

If it weren’t for the past few minutes, Harry would assume that would be an invitation, but he knows it’s an invite for codling and comfort. Harry nods his head and pulls away just enough for Louis to back away from the wall and turn to the hallway. Practically plastering himself to Louis’ back, Harry shuffles them along the hall until they reach the very last door on the right. Pushing the door open, they’re welcomed to what is inevitably their room, even if it is technically Harry’s apartment. It’s scattered with Louis’ things, and the mess makes it look more comfortable and homey than it ever has.

Pulling away and walking towards the chair with his sleep shirt, Louis begins to strip. His pants are tacky, sticky with both fluids of his release and it makes Louis’ cringe as he begins to undo the button. Without a word, as Louis is pulling his jeans and pants off, Harry steps to his wardrobe and grabs a pair of pants for both himself and Louis, stepping over just as Louis is throwing the dirtied clothing into the laundry to pass them over.

Louis smiles gratefully, taking the simple black pair of boxers out of his hands and placing them on the bed instead of himself.

“I’m going to shower.” Louis answers in lieu of Harry’s confused stare. “I’m sticky in more than one place.” He’s rosy as he says it, chin ducking towards his chest, as he turns towards the bathroom door. Glancing back at Harry, fingers toying at the end of his shirt, he smiles. “You can come too if you want.”

Harry nods, more than a little inclined to the idea as he watches Louis strip off his shirt and throw it into the basket as well. “Be there in a mo, love.”

Louis nods his head, walking into the bath without another word.

Harry begins to unbutton the opening of his blouse, being sure to make sure they all come loose and out before he’s tugging the billowy fabric down his arms and folding it along the chair next to Louis’ sleep shirt. He acts on auto pilot as he unbuttons his jeans, mind stuck in a fog of disbelief as he hears the shower start to run. Uncomfortably crusty and dry, Harry shimmies out of the denim and his pants before piling them on top of Louis’ in the basket, mind wandering as he walks himself to the bathroom.

He can see Louis behind the curtain, just standing, relaxed as the water cascades down his body. His hair already wet, slicked back against his head, and his body is already tinged a little pink with the heat of the water. Harry simply stands there for a moment, absorbed in the picture, in the surrealness of it all. His mind clutters with nothing but his sheer luck that Louis said yes, playing the night over and over as he rolls in the disbelief that he courted Louis tonight.

He shifts and the movement must catch the corner of Louis’ eye, because in the next moment the omega is turning towards him and smiling, beckoning him in slowly with a finger. He follows without question, welcoming the steam and hot water as he steps in alongside Louis.

Louis looks ethereal. Standing there naked in his shower, Harry can’t help but think how natural and amazing Louis looks. Stepping forward, ignoring the water the mists against his face, wetting his hair as he does so, Harry leans down and captures Louis’ lips.

Gently grasping at wet skin, Harry licks into Louis’ mouth. He thumbs over the skin at Louis hip as his tongue works easily into Louis’ mouth. He’s a mix of ecstatic and disbelieving as he crowds into Louis further hands worming their way to the small of Louis’ back.

Chuckling, Louis pulls away, smile pulled little against his face as he brushes away the wet tendrils of Harry’s hair. “We’re came to shower to get clean, not dirty love.”

Harry smiles at that, his own laugh rumbling out of his chest. “I know.” He’s at least coy as he says it, hands retracing their path to Louis’ hips and away from the temptation of Louis’ backside. “Still just overwhelmed I suppose. Just want to touch you, make sure it’s real.”

A look of understanding washes over Louis’ face. “Definitely not just you.” Louis takes the time to brush back Harry’s curls out of his face once more, before letting his hands settle against the length of his shoulder. He kneads his hands into the upper muscles of Harry’s back, pecking his cheek as he does so. “I still can’t believe it either. Today was just a normal work day until I came home.”

Harry bites his lip sheepish as he watches Louis’ eyes cloud as he thinks back through the past couple hours. He feels Louis slide his hands away from his back to settle against his sternum, ring looking beautiful against his finger. Louis himself seems enthralled by it, as much as Harry is.

Grasping Louis’ left hand like he did earlier, Harry brings it to his mouth and kisses it. “I know you answered me already, but are you truly happy?”

Louis looks at him as if he’s absurd. “I thought I made that clear enough when I said yes.”

Harry rolls his eyes but remains adamant anyway. “I know you said yes.” He sighs, squeezing heavily at Louis’ hand as he pinches his eyes closed. “It’s just always seemed so fairy tale for me to end up with you. Now that it’s truly happened I just want to make sure that you’re as happy as I am. That this is your fairy tale as well.”

Louis sighs, looking at Harry with a saddened, but yet frustrated look. Turning around, Louis shuts the water off before pulling Harry out of the shower. Harry follows, cluelessly but without question either way.

They end up back in the room, boxers pulled on before Louis leads him to the bed. He sits, ardently watching Louis as he paces in front of Harry for a short moment. He stops and faces Harry, looking beautiful but yet nervous.

“You have to know that this is my fairy tale too Harry.” Louis concedes, looking at his as if desperate for Harry to understand. “I’ve literally blown off my other courtship because I wanted to be with you. I was so discontent and unhappy with Liam, because he wasn’t you.”

Harry smiles, humbled as he looks at Louis’ face, eyes pouring with honesty as he gazes at Harry.

“I know it didn’t seem like that when we were younger, but you’ve always been the kind of alpha I’ve been looking for. When I agreed to court and mate with Liam, it was because I was settling. I didn’t think I could ever have you our have anyone even close to you, so I settled. I was never excited about being joined with Liam, I was always half heartedly involved.

“I was only focused on convincing myself that marrying Liam would make me the omega I always thought I should be. You know I’ve always struggled with my personality and my presentation. I was scared I was getting too old, for an omega to be of any interest of at least getting there so I decided to go through with Liam. I cared for him, sure, but not in ways that counted. I was so focused on trying to do the right _omega_ thing. And before you say there is no such thing, there are so many parts of me that still think that there is no matter how hard I try.

“I didn’t like my courtship necklace but I didn’t care to tell him because my input for our ceremony and our mating, were lackluster at best. I didn’t care about invitation fonts or colours schemes or venues. With you though Harry it’s entirely different. We weren’t even engaged yet and I was already thinking of when we were going to be married and what our colours would be and where I wanted to be officially mated to you. I was thinking of what kind of ring I wanted you to get me and where we would live.”

Louis’ winded, heart hammering as his mouth pours out words of honesty. The ache in his chest doesn’t lessen when he seems the glassy look to Harry’s eyes and the way Harry himself seems to be lost for breath. Harry reaches out desperately for Louis, hands gripping harshly into the dip of Louis’ back to yank him into the v of his legs. Louis goes without question, hands shaky, reaching up to frame Harry’s face. As he thumbs away the tears that have slipped down Harry’s cheeks, Louis rests their foreheads together, both their breaths hitching with each intake.

“And god Harry- when I came home tonight and seen how much work you put into asking me to be yours,  all I could think about was how much I love you. How much I couldn’t wait to start a life with you. All I could see was how everything in my future involves you. All I can see is us both coming home to each other, in a house outside of the city where you’ll have a studio for all your music and I’ll have an office for my job. The same place where one day I’d have our pups. Where we raise our kids and where we grow old together. When you asked me tonight if I wanted to be yours that’s what I saw.”

Louis breathes harshly, nearly letting a sob escape him as he finishes.

“You’re the only constant I see for the rest of my life Harry. You’re it for me.”

Harry laughs out, most of it hitched and nearly hysterical. He’s trying to hold in a sob, but it works it’s way out anyway as he hoists Louis’ up and turns to deposit him on the bed. He crushes the smaller boy into the mattress covering his body entirely as tears slip from his eyes. Louis himself seems overwhelmed, his own tears slipping out the corners of his eyes to run onto the bed but that’s all  Harry has time to take in, lips latching to Louis’ is seconds.

Clinging desperately to Louis, Harry kisses with fever. His lips can’t seem to move fast enough and his alpha nearly tears it’s way through Harry’s skin in the need to mate Louis now.

Pulling away with spit slick lips, Harry lets out another desperate sob, shaking his head as he looks at Louis exasperatedly. “All you had to say was that I was your fairy tale too. God Lou, do you have any idea what you’ve done to me.”

“It wouldn’t have been enough.” Louis pants, clinging to Harry’s shoulders like a lifeline. “I had to tell you more. I had to explain. You’ve always been my alpha, since you fucking presented, you’re the only alpha my omega wants.”

Louis bites his lip, holding back as Harry moves to bite a path down his chest.

“You’re alpha is what made me go into heat.”

Harry’s head snaps up, eyes wide as he looks at Louis’ rosy red cheeks, an embarrassed but honest look on his face.  

“What?” It’s whispered, and Harry’s surprised it isn’t more forceful, alpha growling inside his head, aggressive and possessive mixed together that nearly makes him snap.

Louis rolls his head back, as if to look away but Harry’s back again, above him and looming as he tilts Louis’ head to look straight unto his.

“I’m the only alpha?” Harry asks confused, but nevertheless, firm. “What does that mean.”

Louis’ cheeks bloom with more heat, heart hammering as Harry’s gaze remains adamant and sure standing against his face. He’s searching for an answer he indefinitely knows, if he would dig a little. Harry’s not in the mood for digging and neither is Louis, or he would have brought it up another time. He wants Harry to know, as much as it unfurls the embarrassment of a deeply, long hidden secret.

“After you went into rut, and presented, I left.”

Harry wants to iterate that he knows this already. He berated himself over Louis’ leaving for nearly three years after it, figured that his alpha or more reasonably himself, did something to infuriate and violate Louis.

“I know you know I left but you don’t know why.” Louis explains, hands moving to slide across Harry’s ribs to his back, digging underneath his shoulder blades. “I left because your alpha threw me into my first heat. Not the little premature ones I had after presenting, but a full heat. I hadn’t had one when I presented or after that until you. My omega didn’t reach heat, till you had your rut.”

Louis doesn’t even have time to gauge Harry’s reaction before he’s being snogged, blindly. It’s blatantly overwhelming as he feels hands and lips travel his body in fast paced motions. He only notices the touches when parts of him are left cold and wet in the absence of Harry’s limbs against his own.

He lays there bathing in the pleasure that flits around his body as Harry moves, legs being pushed up against Harry’s hips as lips and teeth graze his neck. When Harry finally pulls away from his body long enough to look at Louis, he looks crazed, eyes having darkened to the primal nature of his alpha, deep green, nearly dark enough to be black.

Louis’ eyes roll to the back of his head as he feels Harry move against him for the second time tonight. His hips are sinful and unforgiving as he shudders in the v of Louis’ legs. He’s purposeful and to the point, not striving to be a tease, but for release as he works their bodies together, already shuddering, so close to the edge as he thrusts against Louis.

His thrusts are harder, enough to move Louis’ up the bed little by little. Before his head can even reach the pillows, Harry pulls him back, each time by the curve of his hips, which only makes Louis more desperate. His body’s open and welcome to the pleasure that his alpha gives him as they both hurtle closer to the edge. Harry doesn’t hesitate to move Louis legs onto his shoulders the louder and closer Louis’ gets to coming.

Louis’ desperate, wet slicking up his arse and most likely the sheets as he splays himself for Harry. Harry gives Louis everything he wants, thrusts aiming lower with the new angle, rutting just right where he needs it. Desperate, Louis worms a hand in between them aching to relieve himself in anyway.. His folded body doesn’t let him access his cock, but his hand travels further to where he truly wants it; where he’s leaking and clenching for it.

His hand just barely grazes the wet material near his ass before Harry’s hand is there moving his out of the way. When Louis looks to scold Harry for it, all he can see is Harry, or rather his alpha, practically drooling off the scent Louis is giving off. Louis doesn’t have much time to consider much else as long, precise fingers are rubbing against him for the second time in only a few short hours.

It’s better this time, he’s more wet, more desperate from the surrounding scent of his alpha and the cock close to knotting that lies heavy practically between his cheeks. The fabric of his boxers are flimsier and they let Harry drive his fingers farther than before. Feeling Louis fully, almost like the thin black fabric isn’t there. Harry growls at that, rubbing insistently where Louis needs it. His hole clenches needily, releasing slick as he does so which only makes it’s way onto Harry’s fingers.

Relentless Harry drops his legs from on his shoulders , letting them fall and bounce on the mattress, leaving Louis spread out more than before. Placing one hand by Louis’ head, the other goes back to circling and teasing against Louis’ hole. It’s quicker and harder than before, enough that it has Louis whining, writhing against the sheets as Harry pants in his ear. Harry’s fingers work against him like they’re desperate to be inside him, like they need to feel the heat of Louis’ hole working their way around his knuckles.

“C’mon Lou, come for me.” It’s practically growled, Harry long gone to the primal instincts of his alpha as he gives pleasure to his omega. Louis’ whimpering, digging crescent moons into Harry’s back, nails dragging and leaving red marks as he hurtles towards the edge. “Come for your alpha Lou. Please come for me love, want to see you.”

And with that Louis’ gone.

His body seizes, out of control as he gasps and moans filthily against Harry’s cheek. Fingers remain working at his hole as he works himself through his orgasm, hand going to cup at his cock as he comes.

He relaxes into the sheets, practically puddy as Harry moves his other hand to rest against Louis’ head. He slowly lowers to his forearms, hard cock brushing against Louis’ hip as he does. When Louis catches his eyes, they’re more green than before, but still dark enough that his alpha lingers.

His alpha seems resigned to rubbing it off against Louis’ hip, hard cock circling against Louis’ flesh slowly as if savouring it. Louis brings his own hand away from his spent cock and flips it to cup against Harry.

Harry hisses, caught off guard but his hips flex up into the cup of Louis’ hand gratefully. Louis’ barely got a hand on him, fingers just barely brushing against the head of Harry’s cock before they catch on Harry’s knot when the alpha thrusts up into his hand.

They both gasp.

Harry from the pleasure and Louis from the surprise.

Nosing as the underside of Harry’s jaw, Louis works his hand back down and squeezes, rubbing diligently then from head to knot as he kissed down Harry’s neck. Harry moans in gratitude, nosing into Louis’ hair and scenting him as he works himself over with the help of Louis’ hand.

He groans with finality when Louis gives a particularly long squeeze to the base of his cock, knot pulsing as he comes hot and in ropes on the inside of his boxers.

Sluggish and tiredly, Harry pulls back onto his haunches to look at Louis. As his fingers climb steadily to the waistband of Louis’ pants, he looks at Louis. Mixed in his own chest, there’s still a frantic need to be as close to Louis as possible. He’s sure it shows in his eyes that are still no doubt engulfed with his alpha but he doesn’t care. Louis himself looks needy, hands running up Harry’s thighs and nearly pulling Harry back overtop him.

Reluctantly, Louis lets his boxers come off, limbs falling away from Harry’s body to arch his hips as gentle fingers pull the wet, soiled fabric away from his skin. Harry stands at the edge of the bed, where Louis was just moments ago, and shuffles out of his ruined boxers as well, throwing both pairs into the laundry before he climbs back onto the bed.

Louis’ omega preens as Harry comes back to the bed, comes back to him. Content to be coddled and loved after such an overwhelming and loving night. Harry ends up on his back, gazing up at the ceiling, dazed as his body opens up and molds to fit Louis against himself.

“Thank you.” Harry whispers into Louis’ hair, once they’ve both settled, nearly both asleep.

Frowning, Louis paws at Harry’s chest, looking at him curiously. “What for.”

Harry tears his tired eyes away from the ceiling to look at his boy lovingly, overly fond, even in the dark. “For how honest you were. Letting me know that we’re both in this for the long run.”

“I meant everything I said.” Louis whispers, tongue still spilling out truths.

“I know you did.” Harry admonishes, tracing the line of Louis’ side in a gesture of comfort. “I have no doubt that everything you said was the truth. Tomorrow though you’re going to explain yourself a little more.”

“What else do I have to explain, I thought you understood everything.” Louis practically bawks, looking up at Harry confused.

“Well for one the plans and ideas you already have for our mating.” Harry explains watching as an embarrassed, but coy smile makes it’s way onto Louis’ face. “And for another how I’m the alpha that threw you into your first real heat.”

This time he can practically feel the heat radiating off of Louis’ cheeks as the boy tucks his chin down and away in an attempt to hide his face. “I just wanted to get it out.” He admits, settling his red cheek against Harry’s chest once more. “I know the timing wasn’t ideal but I’ve been keeping that secret since I was sixteen, I just wanted you to know.”

Kissing the top of his head, Harry nuzzles into the damp strands of Louis’ hair as he hums. “I’m glad I know, but I still want to know more. Preferably when we’re not going at it.”

Louis snorts against Harry’s neck, soft breath tickling there as the omega huffs out a few chuckles.

“Probably be a good idea.”

“Probably.” Harry agrees, coiling his arm tighter around Louis’ waist, eyes drooping closed. “Also be good to start planning our mating, wouldn’t it? Want to be yours as soon as I can be.”

This time it’s Louis that hums, expression happy and soft. “I want that too.”

Both of them fall quiet, just letting the words linger in the air as sleep coiled around them. Breathing almost even, Harry whispers out.

“I love you.”

Barely awake, but content nonetheless, Louis murmurs back. “Love you too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't guarantee that this will be updated regularly or even soon, because I am busy and I am a university student that has studies to do, but I can hope that I get another part of this up to you guys soon! I do miss posting, but it's just a lack of time that makes it so hard to update! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, tell me what you think or come say hello on my tumblr, bottomlouiswriter!

**Author's Note:**

> I thought I would be able to finish but as I've explained to the fix exchange, my computer is so close to breaking down, and I didn't want to risk loosing all the work I've put into this first part. I'm hoping for the second part to be as long if not longer than this first part so that's always something to look towards to.


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